The Hardest Word

Back in the 70s, I guess, Elton John had a song out that had a line in it that said "Sorry seems to be the hardest word." I think I'd like to nominate another word for the award for "hardest word." I think I'd like to nominate "Goodbye".

Have you ever been in a season of your life when it feels as if God is just ripping everything that you've ever trusted in, believed in, or found strength in out from under you? Do you remember seeing magicians do that trick where a table is all elaborately decorated with china, crystal and silverware, and he picks the edge of the tablecloth up and jerks it away, leaving every piece of tableware exactly where it was with nothing falling off?

Today, I feel like that table is my life, except once the tablecloth got jerked off, all the crystal shattered on the floor, the plates broke, and the food is all glopped up all over the floor.

What happened, you might ask? Well, I'll be honest. There are a few things going on that I'm not prepared just yet to discuss, so I'd ask that you just hold me in your prayers over the next week or so.

But the reason for "goodbye" being the hardest word? In addition to everything else swirling around in life, my boyfriend and I broke up last night. Many of you guys know Jeff, so if you see him, please give him a hug or ask how he's doing, ok? We were talking last night about how little time we've been able to spend with one another the past months. He's had work situations that have kept us apart, not to mention four kids! I've gone through all this panic stuff, and that's severely limited our ability to go "out" and really date when he has been able to be around. Now, campaign season is upon us, and my time is limited once more, so how can you really cultivate a relationship, especially one in which you love the other person, if you're not able to be with them? (If anyone knows that answer, could you let us know?)

It just seemed more and more apparent as we talked that we were both feeling the same pressures and the same strain on the relationship. The past 10 months have had their ups and downs, all relationships do, of course. But for those of you who don't know Jeff well, or think you know him, I want to share a few things that I was able to learn about him during the course of our relationship.

He has a kind, gentle and loving heart. He is a dad who is so devoted to his children, and he loves them tremendously. Though he's a big guy, he's truly a sensitive and caring person who has been hurt in life (haven't we all), but who tries to do his best for his kids. Yes, he makes mistakes, and yes he is learning who he is and who God says he is. But, he never once gave me reason to doubt that he loved me. He supported me and encouraged me, and he always wanted my best. He was a true friend to me, even though his choice in college basketball teams left a lot to be desired. If I ever needed to hear an "I love you", "You can do it", or "I'm here for you", or if I ever needed an early morning wake up call "just because", Jeff was always there to share it. He loves his God, and he loves Jesus, and he has a heart for worshipping, and I've been able to learn a lot from him in that area.

So, my friends, I believe that "Goodbye" just might be the hardest word......

Kara