I'll be the first to admit - I despise small steps. I'm the one who wants to go from zero to 100 in a few split seconds. I want immediate results. I want to see progress. But, I'm also the one who compares myself to others - to the work they've probably done for years.
Recently, my fiance and I joined a gym. Don't even get me started on the fears that brought up. I cried all the way to the gym, scared to walk in the doors. How many times did I think about turning around? Too many to count. BUT, I was determined not to let fear take hold of me, so I marched my large self into that building, jumped on a treadmill (well, let's be honest..I timidly stepped up on it) and began to pump up the heart rate.
That first night, I think I did 10 minutes on the treadmill. Took a break. Went back for another 10 minutes. Maybe went to a stationary bike for a mile or so. Then I played on a few weight machines. Small beginnings. Yet, I did it.
The second night, I began looking around. Tiny little bodies in better shape than I was when I was born! They start off running at a pace that I can't even walk at when I'm at my maximum heart rate! One girl brought a book in yesterday and ran on an elliptical reading the book....HOW?? I'm terrified to let go of the handles on the treadmill for fear of falling off!
As I looked around, comparing myself to all the others in the room, I began to notice something. The ones I was comparing myself to weren't the ones in the same shape as me - and no, I'm not the only big girl there - but they were the ones who were 20 years old, a size 0, and with tans that go on for days. And what happens? I don't measure up. I'm not good enough. I'll never get there. Why even bother? Maybe I should just go home, and while I'm at it, grab a bacon cheeseburger and fries on the way home.
This morning, as I was driving into work, something occurred to me. I went for a walk over my lunch hour the day before. It was only 1/2 mile, but it was extremely hilly and it was quite a hike. I did my mile on the treadmill in a few minutes less than I had in previous trips to the gym, with an incline and at a, sometimes, faster pace than before. WAIT A MINUTE!! That's PROGRESS. Small steps - do not despise them!
In Scripture, we're told that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. As such, shouldn't I be treating my body with a bit more respect, a bit more attention? YES! We are also told in the verse above that the Lord rejoices to see the work begin - not finish - but begin. So, yes, I've begun the process of honoring my temple. I've begun the process of taking better care of myself mentally, emotionally and physically. And, I'm committing myself to doing my best...MY best...not what that 20-something, book-reading, super-tanned little youngin' is doing a few machines down.
Rejoicing in the small beginnings,
Kara
