Have We Gone too Far? WWJT?

Hello Bloggies!!

I must share that this posting has been stirring in my heart for a few days now, and a part of me is a bit intimidated to post it, because I know I may stir up some controversy, and that's never the point of this blog. I don't mind stirring discussion, lively debate, or even cause you to disagree with me. But I never want my thoughts, questions and ideas to be seen as a source of controversy or offense. As I said when we first began, this is my opportunity to work through lessons I'm learning, things God is showing me, and to pose questions to you, my faithful readers, on topics I'm chewing on.

So this one is one I'm "chewing" on. I don't offer it as Gospel of any sort, just sort of "life as Kara sees it". So, away we go!

I'm wondering if we've gone too far? Years ago, those WWJD bracelets were so popular, asking us "what would Jesus do" in all variety of areas. Today, the day after a gloriously beautiful Resurrection Sunday in the south, I'm left wondering "WWJT"? What Would Jesus Think?

What Would Jesus Think if He were to walk into the modern churches of America?
What Would Jesus Think if He were to observe the way we celebrate His resurrection?
What Would Jesus Think if He were to see the way we market our churches?
Would He even recognize us? Would He recognize His bride, the church?

Have we become so driven by our marketing and advertisement based society that churches have become nothing more than efforts to see who can out-market the church down the road? This Easter, I recieved no less than four post cards from churches in the county advertising their "awesome", "dynamic", "exciting" services with everything from "rocking music", "state of the art lighting", and "friendly, welcoming" members. I suppose with the intent to invite me to experience the best these churches had to offer on the most holy of days.

**Let me interject here before someone goes off the deep end. As I stated earlier, this is one of those "what's Kara chewing on" type posts. I'm not criticizing marketing, advertising, and using Easter to invite people to church. On the contrary, I believe we should do everything we do for God with excellence. God gives many people the gift of creativity and marketing and advertising are near and dear to my heart. I've created those postcards; I've described churches I've attended as "awesome, dynamic, exciting, etc." and believe that they are. I'm simply putting the question out there.....Have we Gone too Far? WWJT??**

I saw a posting yesterday on Facebook, actually one of many, where a friend of mine said she had just returned home from the "best church in the world"....really? Does she know that for a fact? Obviously not, but it's her statement of faith and her comfort in her home church. WWJT - would He see her church as the best in the world? I wonder.

One church - one of the best attended and most respected - in our area hosted a huge outreach project Saturday with an Egg Drop at a local high school. Something like 35, 000 plastic eggs with gifts like iPods, tvs, game systems, gift cards, etc placed in the eggs for the lucky little winners. Thousands of children took part...it was really cool to see. Local media got hold of it and showed it on the news. Really? WWJT? I will be the first to say I wasn't there, so I don't know the answer to this, but was there an opportunity to share the real reason for Easter? Did someone discuss that Easter was a day when the Creator of all mankind stepped into human flesh, suffered brutal torture and bled for each of those kids? I certainly hope so! It was a great idea...just wondering WWJT?

Another local church has a tradition that began with the simple idea of sharing the news that "He's Alive" with some neighbors on Easter morning. The idea has now grown to the extent that the "He's Alive Tour" is now in its 11th year. It's become a highly anticipated part of the Easter service at this church. It's featured Batman and Robin over the years, the leaders being shot at by a crazy neighbor, the cops being called on them (and happened again this year), it's quite the production. Again, I have to wonder, WWJT? Have we gone too far? Is this really what Easter's about?

Elevation Church, which is arguably one of the most influential churches with one of the most influential young pastors in the country, is based out of Charlotte, NC. They actually had to pass out tickets to be able to attend their services.

It seems to me that in today's more evangelical churches, church plants, contemporary churches, etc (whatever label you want to put on it), we have become so concerned with getting the proverbial butts in the chairs that we go to any length to promote the newest, coolest, most vibrant, worship experience to bring people in. It's as if our faster, newer, hipper culture has permeated its way into our churches.

Is there anything wrong with wanting to sit in a church, sing "Christ the Lord is Risen", "Amazing Grace", (the pre-Chris Tomlin version) possibly even from a hymnal (gasp!) and just have a preacher preach the Bible to you?

Of course not, but many proponents of the newer, more contemporary style of modern-day church would claim that churches that are more "traditional" would be boring, more rigid in their ways, older in their membership, less open to the move of the Holy Spirit, and also losing the younger people in deference to upholding the traditions the older members want to retain.

So, I ask you, WWJT? Do I have the answers to all the questions I've posed? No. But I think Scripture gives us a pretty good answer if we read between the lines: Jesus tells us that, in His Father's house, there are many mansions and that He had to leave us to go prepare the place for us. He also tells us that, if He has to leave, He WILL come back again to get us. What a glorious day that will be!!

Just what I'm chewing on today.
Kara

Quitting or Leaving?? (Part 1)

Hi Everyone,

So, just to share, this post will probably be written over the course of a few days. It's one that will evolve during the next hours and days as events occur.

FRIDAY NOON:

With that being said, I have come to the conclusion that it is time to make another major decision in my journey of faith.

Man, some decisions are just hard to make, aren't they?

After much prayer, a few tears, gathering the wisdom of wise counsel, reading a lot of Scripture and some honest, straightforward debate, I've made the decision to resign from leadership and probably leave The Village Church. This has been my home for the last year or so. There are wonderful people there, many whom I've come to love and respect. They are not perfect; nor am I. They do not always get everything right; I certainly don't. One thing I do know for sure, there is a lot of love there. God is moving there. New people visit weekly, and while some leave as they always will, the church is growing.

With all that said, the logical question is "then why would you leave?" Again, some decisions are just hard to make. The reasons don't really matter. I'm not into the justifying or defending or explaining of specifics that should remain private. In the grand scheme of a person's faith journey, there are many transitions. Moving from one church to another, if need be. Moving from one spiritual level to another. Moving from one area of serving to another.

I recently shared with some of the amazing women of The Village in my Thursday night Bible study that people are like onions. We have layers that need to be gradually peeled away. During life, God will allow us to work through issues and He will bring people and experiences into our lives that give us the grace and ability to heal, grow, and mature.

One of my layers that has for many years needed to be peeled away has been the curse of people-pleasing. You know those people, right? We have a few common traits: we want everyone to like us which leads us to compromise our boundaries; we want everyone to get along at the expense of our own peace. I have sacrificed myself, my health, my peace, my boundaries, my emotions, etc., all to be liked, popular, feel "worthy", whatever.

The Village has allowed me to grow through a number of times of testing. I no longer desire or crave to be approved, valued, etc. by a position, a ministry, a person, or a group. As one of my dear friends said in an email today, "The Lord is with you, your identity is in him and your acceptance is secured by Jesus." Praise God for that assurance!! I am able to stand in the wisdom and maturity of my decisions, knowing that they've been prayed through, that they are my own, and that they are wise.

However, I ALSO know that, even if I make a "mistake", God is with me and He's working ALL things together for MY GOOD!! So, with that knowledge, and that confidence, I am about to go and share the news with my Pastor and my friend. My prayer is that the news will be received with dignity and favor, wisdom and grace.

Hey Everyone - very rarely will I share a blog post from someone other than myself. However, I LOVE the writings of this guest blogger: Hudson Russel Davis. He makes me think about singleness in a very different way. I was touched by his words today; as someone who has thought myself as "Ugly" for many years, the realization that I am BEAUTIFUL in God's eyes is freeing....now to find that 40-something fella who ALSO thinks I'm BEAUTIFUL! :-)

Do good things,
Kara


The Relational Economy: Currency - Part 3
Hudson Russell Davis

Some folks suffer in sorrow
Thinking they're just no good
They don't match the magazine model
As close as they think they should
—David Wilcox

If I could shape the English language I would leave in the word beautiful but excise the word ugly. I would remove from the language the words to paint any person as less lacking in visual worth. I would so order things that we had only words to build each other up. Then, if I could, I would make it my goal to so shape ALL world languages so that there would be no unkind word but only those that are “helpful for building others up according to their needs ...” (Eph. 4:29). It is that world in which I want to live.

But we live in a world where words build AND destroy souls. We live in a world and participate in a relational economy in which physical appearance is a valued commodity. We live in a world where singles judge one another on their marketability, a world in which “ugliness,” real or perceived, can feel like punishment.

God has no ugly children. God plays no favorites. We don’t need to impress him. As Rich Mullins said, “He’s already knocked out about you. He already loves you more than you could imagine.” And yet, there are many poor souls convinced that ugliness is the reason for their singleness. I cannot deny it. I also cannot confirm it. The whole issue of singleness is both simpler and vastly more complex than that.

There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, someone more handsome, or someone with more charm. There will always be someone with a smaller waist, firmer breasts, less body fat, or some other agreed upon trait of “beauty.”

If what we pursue is some arbitrary standard, there is no end to the search. There is no person who lives up to the title of perfect man or perfect woman. We are more than the sum of our parts. I am valued beyond my looks and so are you—or we should be.

I avoid saying just plainly “those who ARE beautiful” and “those who ARE ugly” because I just don’t believe in the full reality of those categories. Something in me accepts the “beautiful,” but cannot stomach “ugly.” To declare someone ugly is to speak of more than their looks. To call someone ugly is to make a pronouncement of their relational worth.

Let’s face it, we rarely bother to comment on a person’s ugliness outside the realm of their “dateability.” In most cases we do not even notice a person’s looks unless we are considering dating them. For the most part they are people until they stumble across our relational radar. Then we feel compelled to decide whether what they have to offer is enough—whether they are attractive or not.

If they please US—they are beautiful.

If they do not please US—they are ugly.

This is ruthlessness. We are here for more than marriage and thus here for more than dating. We possess value beyond our relational appeal. Thank God! If the feet of those who bring Good News are beautiful, then we who are the temple of the Holy Spirit are beautiful—EVERY ONE OF US. If the ground near the burning bush was sacred, then we should remove our shoes in approaching a daughter or son of Heaven’s King. Who of us would DARE speak the world ugly in addressing the King’s daughter—the princess? Who would dare call a heaven’s prince ugly?

And yet I have thought and at times said that someone was ugly. I spoke in ignorance. I spoke from my own limited perspective and for my own benefit—not theirs. I repent of that judgment. “Ugly,” for what it’s worth, is ethereal—ghostlike—it is neither real nor tangible. But then again, so is beauty. The “Maker of Noses” made them all to HIS specs, and I dishonor the maker if I call ANYONE ugly.

We sometimes treat relational currency as an objective standard of observable facts. Anyone who sees themselves as ugly grants another person the power to determine the standard of beauty. This is madness given the fallen state of EVERYONE we encounter. Not only do the makers of beauty not have our best interests at heart, they quite often do not have God’s heart. The world constructs social ideas of beauty in order to draw boundaries. This is why we might wonder, “what she is doing with him.” Or we might wonder, “what he is doing with her.” There is nothing more scandalous than beauty joined to that which appears to us—ugly.

It is for this very reason that the gospel is scandalous. That beautiful God of all ages is willing to be seen with us. He is willing to be loved by us and to be known as ours. He is willing to have people stare, willing to have them talk. And if for a moment we feel the rush of embarrassment, he does no more than take our hand and squeeze.

He did not come because we were beautiful, but he did not disdain the disfiguring horror of our sins. He did not choose us because we would improve his reputation, but because he wanted us to know we were loved. He does not care that some people think him a fool for condescending to our poverty. He has come to make us rich, and he has come to make us beautiful. He makes all things beautiful.

Thank God we are more than the swing of our hips, the cut of our pecs, more than the length and color of our hair. If it were not so, I am not sure who would fit in. We are more than blue eyes, grey eyes, brown eyes, or green eyes, and yet all the stars MUST have green or blue eyes. Have you noticed?

It is wonderful if someone else finds you beautiful but it is more important that YOU find yourself beautiful. You may look in the mirror and be disturbed, so don’t look with your eyes alone. You share in Christ’s beauty even as you share in his suffering. This is the beauty of the Christian life. We are being “transformed into his likeness” (2 Cor. 3:18). This means that, although in our sin we resemble his homeliness, in his righteousness we reflect his beauty.

What Else I Know for Sure

Ok, seems I'm on a bit of a roll here:

21. Thanks to a pastor friend: there are "little stinkers" all over the place. In life, in work, in families, in churches. Are you one? I sure have been!

22. Trisha Yearwood was right: "The Song Remembers When".

23. Rodney King was right, too: "Can't we all just get along?"

24. Kara McAbee is right also: when you meet people at different places in their spiritual journey, especially along paths you've already walked, you must be able to extend grace to those persons.

25. Sloane Wood is right also: "The Theatre is a fun place to be." If you're a Drama Queen or King, come out and audition for a show...."keep it on the stage"!! I'm too old to deal with your drama!! LOL Love my Sloaney!

26. Spiritual maturity has NOTHING to do with a person's age....some of the most mature people I know are the youngest.

27. Carolina > Duke. Ok, I had to do it. But I do know that for sure!

28. I lay my requests out to God daily, boldly and confidently.

29. If I EVER am blessed to get married, Lord, may he be a man like Jerel Law who loved (and loves) his wife with a passion, a grace and a beauty unparalleled by any I've seen. (And if he's a Carolina fan, has a passionate heart for you, and loves old movies, then that would be just great too!) Go check out Jerel's blog at www.susanlaw.blogspot.com for an amazing look at being Jesus' hands and feet while on earth and loving your spouse to the ends of the Earth. What a blessed woman Susan truly was to have found a man like Jerel. I don't know Jerel and never knew Susan, but through their words and devotion to Christ and to each other, I feel a part of their family.

30. I know that heartfelt cards, words of thanks, and a hug at the right time can be a balm to soothe a broken heart, fits of loneliness, and boost a person's spirits. (They certainly do mine.)

31. I konw that being single CAN have its benefits - no one cares if you eat the ice cream out of the carton at night.

32. I know nothing makes me wanna throw the top down on my car (if I could) like some 80s Bon Jovi or Journey and some Broadway show tunes!

33. I know that sometimes God removes friends from our lives for a time. But when He sees that it's time to reunite those friends, we can be overwhelmed with the beauty of that relationship.

34. I know that this past year allowed me to make a strong decision for my life (my surgery) and that there have been more blessings out of that decision than I ever could have imagined.

35. I know that the ending of a relationship does not have to be a heartbreaking thing. Sometimes it's a blessing.

36. I know that I don't really know anything.

What I've Learned for Sure

Hey Friends,

I've heard over the years that Oprah Winfrey has a section in her "O" Magazine called "What I know For Sure". I've really been pondering that thought lately....what are the things I know for sure? Just decided to give it some time to breathe on the "pages" of the blog. So here's what I know for sure....feel free to add your responses and share what you know for sure!

1. I know for sure that substance matters over style.

2. I know for sure that if a person is willing to gossip about someone else in front of you, that person is definitely willing to gossip about you behind your back.

3. I know for sure that people who will tell you one thing to your face, may not be saying the same thing to others.

4. I know that if you can count your true friends on one hand, maybe two, you are richly blessed.

5. I know that some people never grow up out of the locker room from high school.

6. I know for sure that quitting is not the same as leaving.

7. I know for sure that people-pleasing does not work, nor does it engender loyalty and respect.

8. I know for sure that high school girls aren't the only ones who are mean girls...meanness always has a history, perceives a threat and CAN be healed, if the person is willing to admit their faults and allow God to heal them.

9. I know that I know that I know that God is ALWAYS working in each and every situation we encounter, whether we understand what He's doing or not.

10. I know for sure that having gifts and talents that enable us to "DO" something, does not mean that we are "CALLED" to do that thing.

11. I know that situations truly are put into our lives for reasons, seasons, and lifetimes. And when it's a reason or a season, sometimes it hurts to turn the page on that situation and close the chapter.

12. I know that people make assumptions, choose to take offense, live in bitterness, hurt, resentments, etc., only because they also choose not to heal.

13. I know that I know that hurting people hurt people.

14. I know that I've been given the gift of a discerning spirit that I need to be more willing to listen to and follow its lead.

15. I know that people who aren't Christians are immediately turned off by the Church today when they see jealousy, bitterness, cattiness, gossip, anger, and the plethora of sins that people who claim to be Christ-followers display within the walls of the church.

16. I know that I am a Christ-follower who has been jealous, bitter, catty, angry, etc.

17. I know that I am a sinner saved by the Grace of a MARVELOUS loving and generous God.

18. I know that I may fail, but that does not make me a failure. I get back up and keep walking.

19. I know for sure that I lived way too many years deathly concerned about what people thought about me, to the extent that I was a people-pleaser, compromised principles in dating (don't let your minds roam too far on that one...it's not what you think), and accepted the way people treated me...all in a failed attempt to belong, to fill what felt as if it was missing, to make myself feel better about myself.

20. I know the Good News About Kara: I am whole, healed, saved, redeemed, lavishly loved by my Creator, a friend, a daughter, far from perfect, getting stronger every day, and enjoying life.

Those are some of the things I know for sure.