The Most Unusual of Places

For those singles out there....from one of my favorite Christian single writers (other than me, of course!)

"There is a gift I would like to receive this Christmas that I am certain will be deferred--perhaps not forever--but for now.

What WILL be there, as it has been for so many years is "the gift of singleness." I cannot say I will open this package with joy, but I will open it. I will open it because, at least for this year, it is His gift to me and I know He loves me.

Where is that anticipation we used to have that would give us sleepless nights leading up to Christmas? Where is the childlike faith we used to have that the next morning would bring blessings untold? What has happened to the conviction that "God is LOVE?!" We need only look to the manger. For the manger calls to us, saying:

"Lift your eyes you who mourn.
Look up downcast soul.
Day breaks where darkness ruled.
Life springs from desert streams.
Love has heard your cry.
Love has come at last."

There is a danger in being honest. There is a danger that the little window I have sheepishly opened might be thought the full view of my soul--the sum of who I am. It is not so. I feel deep sorrow but the Joy of the Lord has carved a deeper well in my soul. Joy to the WORLD--the Lord has come!! Rejoice--God cares!!

I confessed the longings of my heart. I admitted the pain my spirit has harbored at the long delayed joy of marriage. I confessed these not to explain to you who I am--I pray I am not so shallow--but to let you know that life is comprised of such moments and such emotions. I speak with such candor so that we who are human, we who have human emotions might not think ourselves odd.

• To be real is spiritual.
• To be broken and healed is spiritual.
• To confess and to confide is spiritual.
• And yes, to rejoice is spiritual for God is with us. Emmanuel!!

Christmas, the manger is evidence of God's grace and the grace of God is deeper than the darkest shadows of night, brighter than the strongest rays of day. It is greater than all that plagues us, richer than our poverty. It must be so or there would be every reason to fear walking through the valley of the shadow of death. There would be no cause for the confidence we speak if He were not--"with us."

The Father's grace is stronger than the currents of life that threaten to drag us down, more sure than the ground on which we stand. This must be, or our struggle to reach shore would be futile. It must be, or the rumble beneath us would seem more than foreboding, more than mere threat.
The grace of God is boundless, limitless, timeless, and extravagant. Grace does not falter due to the frailty of our faith and is not threatened by our honesty. Grace does not cease due to the persistence of sin. The extent of our need does not exhaust grace. The depth of our emptiness does not consume it.

Grace is ever held out to the prodigal, ever extended to those in need. It is ever available to we who fail, to we who even at our best--are not good enough. It is we, the sick, who need the chief physician, who crave His healing touch and so--our need will never deplete His grace.

What have I to say to those who despair?
What Have I to say to those in need?
What have I to say to those who have cried their last tear?

Look to the manger! You are not forgotten. The life of Christ confirms that no degradation is beneath God's love. There is no place that grace will not go to meet those in need. In the midst of our trials and failure, in the midst of our longings and hopes--God appeared. We need never fear that we are alone. While our arms were too short to reach Him and our prayers merely murmurs--Christ came down to let us know God cares and His manger is evidence of God With Us.

Because no humiliation is beneath God's love, His grace will find us where we hide. He will seek us out even in the places we are certain no one will find, the places we hope no one will find. He will search our hardening or hardened hearts to find that tender spot. He will meet us there and gently (because that is His way) touch us so that we will know we are not alone. He might appear in the form of a friend, a parent, a child, a songbird, or the quiet rustle of leaves. He might appear in the most unusual of places, as the most unusual of people, at the most inopportune time to let us know you are not alone. Would you have ever suspected He would come in the form of a helpless babe?

Between the children that we seek to be and the people we are--lies the place of becoming. For now we are here, in the 'tween time, malformed and awkward, striving to mature, striving to be who we are called to be--and failing. But with us is the grace of God. And this makes all the difference in the world. With us is the manger; that place of meeting--God and man.
The most unusual of places finds the God of the universe--among us.

Oh it would have been easy to say He does not care if we did not have the manger. The rustle of wrapping paper and crushed boxes will not be enough for the single who still craves marriage. No the one present longed for will not fit under this tree, and it is okay to mourn this. But put off mourning till tomorrow and rejoice in the gift of God to us. Let us celebrate what is worth more than husband wife or children--for the Lord has come.

"I love thee, Lord Jesus! Look down from the sky, and stay by my side until morning is nigh."

Accepted And Loved

Hi Everyone and Merry Christmas!

I thought I'd share a bit about "Cardboard Testimonies". Several months ago, I posted a You Tube clip that brought me to tears in which a church had some of their members walking across the stage, holding a sign that showed the labels they've worn that the world had given them. You'd see things like "rejected. unlovable. unworthy. cancer patient. barren. ugly., etc." As the person stands holding their sign, they turn the sign around to show the name that God had given them. On this sign, you'd see things like "approved. lovable. worthy. cancer free. new mother. beautiful princess, etc."

The point being that satan tries to label us with all kinds of ugly lies. Scripture tells us that satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. If he can get us to wear labels that serve to cut us down, tear our lives apart and and force us to walk around in defeat, he's won. But the God that I serve gives each of us a name that serves to build up, encourage and edify. How I love Him so.

Those of you reading this blog know me well enough to know that I walked around my whole life buying into the labels that satan attacked me with. Things like "abused. not worth it. ugly. fat. rejected." I listened to the lies that satan perpetrated on me. I heard his whispers in the night: "you'll never have someone who'll love you. you'll never get married. you'll never be a mother. you'll never add up to anything. you'll never be worth it. no one will ever think you're special enough to love deeply and enough to spend their lives with you."

Those words crippled me for a long time. I lived my life for far too long accepting his lies for truth. I walked in defeat, accepted relationships in my life that were not safe, productive or loving. In the past, I said to many of my single friends that my plan was to "wait around until God brings the ONE man into my life who thinks I'm 'worth it', who approves of me 'as-is', and falls in love with me and chooses me to be his partner. THEN, I'm gonna lose all this weight, and won't he be the lucky one for it?" Ewww, just typing that gives me the chills! That's totally giving my personal responsibility away and looking for someone to "complete me". Ya'll, Renee Zelwegger did NOT have it right in Jerry Maguire. No man is meant to complete me. Nothing and no one, other than my Creator, is my "Completer".

It's been a pretty monumental year for me as I realized and recognize God as the source of my life. Everything I need--truly need--comes from Him. He pours his love and acceptance into me. Everything else is just overflow. The people in my life, my friends, my family, my job, my home, etc...they're just overflow. Wonderful and beautiful overflow.

This is how I know that NOW, finally now, I am ready to accept intimate love into my life. A year ago, I was dating someone, but I looked to him to make me FEEL better about myself, to make me FEEL loved. To make me FEEL accepted. To make me FEEL like I could open my heart and trust. To make me FEEL attractive and pretty. But that was SOOO unfair to him. That's not a man's job. That's MY job....to receive all those things--love, acceptance, trust--from God. Then, as I'm filled with HIM, I get to choose who deserves intimate access to my heart. That is what allows me to choose a safe, godly, protective, edifying man into my life, one I can walk alongside in ministry together (YES, Lord!!)...when (and only when) God says, "Yes". When that time comes, I now know that I will be able to praise Him for that person and for the things that he will ADD to my life. That wonderful man and all that encompasses him will be overflow!

Blogger's Note: that may have seemed as somewhat of an aside; however, the messages all play into the Labels that I've worn that have been placed around my neck and in my heart by satan. Now, on to the even better news!

This Sunday at Crossroads, Lowell used the message of the "Cardboard Testimonies" to share a message about Names and Labels. We were each given an index card in which we were asked to write down some of our very own labels. We were able to take them to the altar and lay them down and then pick up a card that had a response to those labels, the Names that God has given us. After crying through writing my labels down...ick, that was really hard....I went to the altar and picked up, of all things, "Accepted and Loved". Well, that just made me cry more!! What a beautiful message from God at Christmas! I am Accepted and Loved by my Lord.

May 2009 be the year that, with the Lord's help, the support and accountability of friends and the love of my family, this message of acceptance and love is truly lived out in my life. Lived out in abundant overflow.

Merry Christmas and Lots of Love,
Kara

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Today, I am honored and pleased to share with you a Christmas message from a special guest blogger, The Right Reverend Timothy Paul Patrick, Master of the Universe, Supreme Penn State Fan, Former Mentor, and Forever Friend: I hope you will be encouraged and let the message of his words sink in. Merry Christmas, Dear Friends!! Kara


Two of my favorite carols for this season are: “Joy to the World” and “O Come All Ye Faithful”. Not only do I love the melodic content of each song, but the lyrics always challenge me to remember what Christmas is truly all about.

“…Let every heart prepare Him room…”

Is there a better invitation to salvation than those last 6 words? I think not. What a beautiful reminder that the whole, (and Holy), reason we have Christmas is because Christ was sent to this earth, so that we would receive Him and have fellowship with God. Even as Christians, we can STILL get so bogged down in the ‘stuff’ of the season, that we forget to focus on the reason the season exists in the first place. We prepare our shopping lists…we prepare our bank accounts…we prepare our homes for company…we prepare our tables, our trees and even our yards. But, what God wants most of all at this time, is that we, “prepare Him room!”

Without Christ being the center of the season, Christmas becomes just another ‘holiday’ that we’d forget about all too soon, if it weren’t for the bills that reminded us of how much we spent on the ‘stuff.’ Let’s “prepare Him room” in our hearts, in our lives, in our marriages and in our families this Christmas and experience His blessings in each, as we never have before!

“…O come let us adore Him…”

When was the last time we stopped and simply adored Christ? What are the non-essential things that we’re doing that robs our time and attention from adoring our King? Are we busy doing things that really have no lasting value? Are we focusing our attention on things that are only temporal? When was the last time we stilled ourselves and truly worshipped God? “O come let us adore Him.” There’s no better time than this season to bring our focus and attention back to where it should be…on Christ Jesus. Let’s make every opportunity this Christmas to simply adore the Babe, who became our sacrifice and who loves us more than we can ever comprehend.

So, let’s prepare Him room and adore Him! Merry Christmas!

Tim
J2911

Glad to be Part of the Family

Confession time today. The last several months, I have wrestled a LOT with where I fit in at Crossroads. I took a huge hit to my self-worth and my pride (being honest) when I was told that "there wasn't a future for my position" at Crossroads and that, while I wasn't being fired, it was probably best for me to go ahead and start looking for something else. That sent me on a downward spiral that has been really tough to come back from. Thank God that He sent Teresa into my life at the exact same time, and we've spent a lot of session time working through how I processed all of that.

Helen Keller once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” I'll be the first to tell you, this has been my life the last 4 1/2 months. I LOVED what I was called by the Lord to do at Crossroads. Coordinating events for families, ministry opportunities, and working to draw out the talents and giftings of the adults in our church, watching children--hundreds of children--meet and learn more about Jesus....I truly felt that was the full embodiment of my purpose in life. That door is closed to me now, and I have spent months looking back, trying to rehash what went wrong, feeling hurt, angry and disappointed, crushed even. In looking back at that door, I have honestly missed the blessing of the one that was opened for me.

The past several weeks, I've walked around Crossroads like somewhat of a zombie--oh, I was there in body, but my mind was wandering....maybe wondering more so. Where do I fit in? Why am I here? Should I stay or should I go? Lowell's been sharing messages about the family and how the church is a family as well. I haven't felt much like a part of that family....or maybe more like an estranged part of the family. It's been over 4 years since I haven't had a "job" to do on Sunday morning, since I was "just" a worshiper, since I was "just" a number that gets counted into the attendance, and that feels so unsettling.

If I don't DO something there, why am I there? Don't I have to EARN my place in the family that is Crossroads? Shouldn't I be WORKING to be of some worth to someone there? (There is SUCH a good sermon in those questions! I think so many people struggle with these from time to time.)

I have been praying the past few weeks for God to show me whether my time at Crossroads is up. I've asked Him to show me why I came to Crossroads in the first place--to help me regain my first love for my church family. In a purely selfish way, I gave Him til the end of the year or I was just going to leave and go somewhere else on my own--don't you think He laughed at that? ME giving HIM a deadline!! HA!!

Last night, I got my answer. I coordinated the Thursday night outreach evenings of the Carolinas Christmas Spectacular. It's where we invite in 600 nursing home residents, night shelter residents, teenage moms, orphans, persons with disabilities, etc. It's my job to invite them to attend, distribute tickets, do seating arrangements, and welcome and greet them when they arrive.

After everyone was there, eating their delicious meal and enjoying themselves, I got a chance to sit back and reflect on what had been happening. That night, I had received tons of hugs and "how are yous?" from children, teens that I love, as well as so many adult friends who I haven't really reached out to since I left my job. Charles was there!! Yayyyy!!! My favorite Little Drummer Boy was there in his band uniform. JAYYY-SUN!! There were volunteers who came to love on some babies that belonged to the teen moms who were attending the show. A very weird lookin' Rudolph was roaming the halls, with a sweet teenager in a green elf costume that sent me an air hug. Tammy and Leanna were absolutely indispensable, and I've missed being around the two of them so so much. Bea gave me a wonderful Christmas hug. There are so many people there that I have grown to love over the past 8 years that I've attended Crossroads. I got the biggest bear hug from Lisa that I've ever had, and I was able to congratulate Kels and Gordon on their marriage again.

I sat in the back of the worship center and watched adults with developmental disabilities dance with one another. I saw teenage moms' eyes wide with wonder was they walked into our nursery and saw how well their babies would be taken care of. I watched my senior pastor sitting on the floor at the back of the room looking up to the sky, wondering what he must have been feeling, guessing that he was giving thanks to God for where Crossroads has come from to where it is now. I watched the servers--young and old, male and female--take such great care of each person in attendance, and my heart began to swell. Gone was the anger. Gone was the bitterness and the hurt. I think I felt what the Grinch felt when his heart grew two sizes that day. I know mine must have as well.

I honestly can't say that I know what my purpose at Crossroads is. I don't know if I'll ever minister there again in any capacity, paid or unpaid, calling or volunteer. But I can say that for the first time in months, I am so glad to be a part of the family of Crossroads, and I praise God that He used a night of reaching out to people that so often go overlooked to remind me that the family that is Crossroads is defined by one thing: a heart to serve others through hearts that have been redeemed and transformed by Him.

Merry Christmas Everyone!
Kara