Tunnel

Hello Members of My Little Corner of the Blogosphere!!

It's been a few weeks since I've updated you on the latest happenings in this crazy life of mine, so I thought I'd take a few minutes and share some insights. I recently posted a thought on Face Book that says, "I live in my own little world. But it's ok, they know me here." A friend wrote back and said it must be called "Kara-ville", so I guess this is the story of life in "Kara-ville".

I've learned recently that Kara-ville is filled with twists and turns, mountains and valleys and one heck of a long tunnel. Now, I didn't see the tunnel being constructed, but I know it exists there, because I have recently come out of that tunnel and have started to see the light of day once more. Kara-ville is actually a beautiful place with gorgeous Carolina Blue skies, sunshiney days and Spring is in the air.

This tunnel was not a particularly enjoyable road to travel; however, I must share with you all that a lot of lessons have been learned while in the tunnel. I just received an email from an old friend, not old in years mind you, but old in the sense of not having seen him in several years, asking about starting a blog. It has caused me to go back in time to when I first began this blog and what its purpose was for me.

One of the first lessons you learn in any Literature class is to "know your audience". Who are you writing for? What do they want to know about what you're writing? How can you best describe for them what you want to share with them? My audience is wide-ranging: family from across North Carolina, Texas and South Carolina, Crossroads family, co-workers, Mom's office staff, people from my political life, people I've run across in various charity work I've done, etc. These people cross all socioeconomic backgrounds and are as diverse as they are special.

I've been honored that you would read, comment and most importantly pray for me as you've read these postings. In June or so of 2008 when they first began, I was quite a shattered woman: panic attacks had come back for the first time since college, I was dealing with a life-changing job loss and the hit to my self-esteem that carried with it, I was ending an almost 2 year relationship, mom was in the middle of another campaign, I had tried to burn my house down (accidentally, of course), Mom was just coming off treatment for breast cancer, gosh there was more, but I'm tired of typing!! Suffice it to say, 2008 was a year I don't really care to revisit....it was just altogether too much!

However, what I've also learned is that all the pressures of the past year sent my body into a tunnel of depression. When I--and remember this is KARA we're talking about here 'cause ya'll know me--stopped going out with friends to movies or dinners or ball games or concerts, stopped having groups in my house for dinner parties, stopped shopping, stopped making a bazillion phone calls every night to check in on friends and loved ones, I should have realized something was wrong. The sad thing about a clinical depression is that sometimes it takes an outside source to see things for how they really are.

I am so blessed to say that's happened, and that the tunnel is now passed through. Kara-ville is, once again, a beautiful place to be. Though I'm taking one day at a time, I'm also taking time to enjoy the beautiful things in life. No longer does my self-worth depend on the job I'm working at, the acheivements and accomplishments in life, whether I'll ever be a size 2 (Ha! Don't count on that one!), whether I'll find that perfect love I long for, etc. My worth comes from the fact that I simply AM. I am who I was created to be....Kara. And forgive me for the SNL reference, but I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!!

There have been so many lessons learned going through the tunnel, along the twists and turns and in the valleys, but as I journey along this path of life, I do believe we're called to remember the people who have helped get us where we are. You, dear readers, are part of my journey. I love each of you, and I'm blessed that you take your time to read, comment, pray and be my friend.

Do Good Things,
Kara

"According to the Kind Intentions"

Hi Bloggers!

As most of my loyal readers know, I will, from time to time, post articles from guest writers. One of my favorites is Hudson Russell Davis, a Ph.D. candidate at St. Louis University, who is studying historical theology. Hudson is single, and he writes most eloquently about singleness and the inherent struggles involved, as well as where faith comes in to play in the single life. I hope you enjoy this. If you're not single, please read it anyway...I think you'll appreciate his insights.

"In many ways, the message to singles is no different than the message to those in other stages of life. Whether married or single, divorced or widowed, whether young or old, all want to know that the Lord they serve cares.

We desire this because if He cares, then the circumstances of our lives lie within His powerful and capable hands. Things do not automatically make sense, but there is peace in knowing He cares.

It is most important that we think rightly about God before we attempt to think rightly about out circumstances. [Please read that again.] All knowledge of life should flow from our understanding of God. All assessment of the way things are should be done in light of who God is.

I say this because most of our troubles lie not in how we conceive our circumstances but in how we conceive God. If we are confused in our conception of God our perception of our circumstances will be warped. If our circumstances dictate our understanding of God, He will be nothing more than a shifting shadow. And this is not our God. Rather, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (James 1:17).

Does He care? The answer to this basic question is the foundation of all hope, all praise, and all thanksgiving. If He does not care then it seems utterly ridiculous for those who suffer to obey when Paul writes, "... give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1Th. 5:18).

If the circumstances are what matter, if they are to shape our thinking, then it is more than absurd to say to those in misery, "Give thanks!" It is simply insulting. Give thanks for what?

If circumstances determine our praise, then we praise when things are good and revile when times are hard. This is natural.

If circumstances determine our praise, then we raise our voices when we win and hurl curses when we lose.

If circumstances determined our praise, then we as singles would wait until we have crossed the threshold before we declared His glory. Only the married should give thanks. But they will tell you it is not any easier to give thanks in that place than in this.

If circumstances determined our praise, then even the married might refrain until death had proven the enduring quality of their vows.

But if praise and thanksgiving is indeed "God's will for [us] in Christ Jesus" then it must indeed be in "all circumstances." This giving thanks is contentment marked by confidence in WHO God is. There is no other way to be content in "whatever the circumstances" than to trust that God loves us in all circumstances (Phil. 4:11).

We begin first with our perception of God, and then we move to our circumstances.

We first orient our minds towards the nature of our God, and then consider our circumstances.

We first declare WHO HE IS, and then we attempt to understand the place in which we find ourselves.

We don't give thanks FOR the circumstances; we give thanks IN the circumstances.

Sometimes He lays us down in green pastures.
Sometimes He leads us besides still waters.
And sometimes He leads us through the valley of the shadow of death.

"So," you ask, "where is the restoration of soul He promised?"

It is coming. But first take this and drink it. It may be bitter on your lips, may be hard to swallow, but it will be sweet to your soul. He cares for you and your lack of husband or wife is no evidence to the contrary.

There would be no need to cause all things to work together for good if all things were Good. So He is in all circumstances bringing us to green pastures and still waters. He is in all things working to restore our souls that we might walk in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

In Ephesians we are told that, "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will. ..." (Eph. 1:5). Take your eyes off your circumstances and drink in the fact that His willing our salvation was an act of kindness. We are told that He does this because of the "glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved" (Eph. 1:6).

Put down your dispute for a moment and consider that no one forced His hand. His offer of grace and His acceptance of us were done "freely." He has acted in Love. In the same way He forgave our sins "according to the riches of His grace. ..." (Eph. 1:7). But don't stop there.

Scripture tells us that our Lord's "kind intention" led Him to "freely bestow" "the richness of His grace" which He then "lavished upon us" (Eph. 1:8).

Consider these facts when you consider your circumstances.
Consider this first as you come to know God and THEN turn and see your circumstances.
Consider the God of kind intentions, lavished love and rich grace, freely bestowed.

What I love and what brings me peace during this time of loneliness and longing is the intensity with which Paul communicates this simple truth about our God. He does not code his message nor does he allow the myriad possible circumstances to mitigate his message. Whatever else may be going on, the one constant is a God who is able to calm the storm. It is not the waves but we who have trouble hearing when He whispers, "Peace! Be still" (Mk. 4:39)! The water is calm, but our hearts are still troubled.

I have no idea what you are going through. I know only my own struggle to give thanks. I know only my own struggle to believe and confess that He cares. But the overwhelming testimony of Scripture is that HE CARES!

What we need most to trust is the "kind intention of His will."
What we need most to know is that He cares.
What we need most to know is that He gives freely!
What we need most to know is that He gives lavishly!

While we do not have what we want, the circumstances are louder than the whispered truths. And the circumstances make sense when they speak. They whisper the content of our hurting hearts. They breathe with honesty what we would not think to say out loud. But they speak faithlessness. They speak hopelessness and show an ignorance of God. They are to be answered in the same way Jesus answered His tempter during His time in the desert, "It is written. ..."

Then, having considered God we can consider our circumstances and give thanks not FOR our circumstances but IN our circumstances. We are not left as orphans (Jn. 14:18). The circumstances do not define God, do not define our lives, nor should they limit our praise. Give thanks always, because even the air we breathe has been lavished upon us."

What are YOU Waiting For? How are you waiting?

My Beloved Blogger Family!

Waiting....should that not be 4 letter word? How many of us at this exact moment are waiting for something? Waiting to get married. Waiting to get the test results back. Waiting for the baby to be delivered. Waiting for our prayers to be answered. Waiting for the stop light to change. (If you're me, that one can be SO irritating!)

The Bible has a lot to say about waiting. I guess the reason for that is that, so often, we want things to move at our pace. We want things when we want them. We live in a "have it your way" society. I think we want God to be a "have it your way" God. We want Him to move in the way we want and in the timing in which we want something to happen. When it doesn't, we become frustrated, angry and, Heaven help us, even resentful.

I will admit to being one of the ones who struggles with waiting. I guess it's those "big" things that I think that I need in my life. Marriage. Family. Children. Six figure income. (Ha! Ok, that one's a BIG joke considering my desires to serve in ministry and non-profit sector.)

Biblical waiting is not just sitting back, kicking your shoes off, and watching life go by hoping that, some day, the things you desire will come to you. Far from it. Waiting is a verb...it implies action. So something has to happen WHILE I'm waiting for those dreams to come true or for my prayers to be answered. I think that God will have much to say about what happened along the journey as we wait.

If you want to hear a great song about this point, please check out the video that's posted here. I found this cd from a new artist, John Waller, almost a year and a half ago, and I fell in love with this song. It's getting a lot of airplay now as a result of the movie "Fireproof". It's all about how I hope God finds me while I'm waiting....

When you consider the things you are wanting to hurry up and happen, reflect on the words from the Prophet Isaiah: "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

While I'm Waiting,
Kara

Years

Hey There My Loyal Blog Readers!

Thanks for hanging in there for the past week or so with no posting. I'm sorry, but I have had an experience that has rocked my world...literally! Last Thursday morning around 4AM, I woke up to my world spinning out of control...again, literally! I had a horrible case of vertigo. Lots of fluid behind my ear drums that has affected my balance for a week now. It is not something I'd wish on anyone! Please keep me in your prayers for healing. I'm trusting in His powers to heal, but His timetable is making me wonder! "How about NOW, Lord?"

Anyway, I ran across a quote today that I thought was pretty great, so here it is:

"There are years that ask questions, and years that answer."

I wonder if you've had that experience? I truly believe that 2008 was a year fraught with questions for me in so many areas of life. From my sense of self-worth, to performance and goal expectations, to my relationship with Christ and others, where I fit at Crossroads, how others perceive me and whether I even care about that (or care too much!), this past year was full of questions.

So what will 2009 bring? Well, for one, I am certain I am beginning to get some answers. This past week, I decided it was time to take control of my health. (The truth is, no one else is responsible for this vessel of mine, and while for the past 38 years of my life, I've not treated it as the temple that it is supposed to be, it is finally time to take charge of my health and well-being.) So, I had several appointments at the doctor's office this week, and have been poked and prodded and donated enough blood to keep Dracula happy for a month or so. I had that lovely female exam.....does that ever get easier? Next week, I'll be raising up my offering on to the lovely boob masher machine....gosh I hope that doesn't hurt too much....to have a baseline for future exams. (Those of you who have family history and you're in your mid-late 30s, follow my lead and do the same!) Answers are coming in the areas of health. All is well.

I continue on the path of healing in the mental/emotional/spiritual realms as well. Many answers are coming to light there as well. I've recently had a much-needed series of conversations with a person very important to my past and how I've seen myself over the past 8 years or so. So much guilt and judgment I've placed on myself apparently was not necessary, and the realization of that has been freeing. I have learned that I looked at myself in a VERY negative light and took on responsibility for some things that were not how the other person looked at the situation. Answers are coming.

Anyway, there's SO much I could post here, but I need to get in to work today, so I'm going to stop for now. I encourage you to seek the answers in this year to the questions you've had about your life.

Much Love in the Journey,
Kara