What If....

Kleenex Alert: This may get a little bit sappy!

Last week, a friend of mine told me I absolutely had to go see the new movie "Letters to Juliet". Now, typically, being told to go see a chick flick that you know is going to be one of those love stories that makes your heart all a'flutter isn't out of the realm of the ordinary for me. However, THIS time was special. The friend that made the recommendation? A man! Yep, loyal readers, you heard me right....a M-A-N, honest to goodness, red blooded, hard workin', American MAN! He loved the movie, said there was a moment of extreme profundity (never used that word before...it means "profound" or it was DEEP!), and told me to be prepared with the Kleenex.

So, last Thursday, to escape the craziness of the world, I went to the theater. Bag of popcorn and Diet Coke in hand, I walked into the theater where 11 other women were preparing to be whisked away to the beauty and majesty of Tuscany. (I SO know where I want to go on my honeymoon if I ever have one. More on that comment a bit later.)

I'm not about to spoil the plot for you if you've not seen it, but the truth is, there's not that much of a plot....it's one of those "boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, 50 years go by, will boy and girl be reunited" type stories.

My friend told me to listen for two words in particular that were profound, and that we would discuss their meaning afterwards. Watching the movie, I kept waiting for these magical two words that were going to change my life. This went on for over an hour and I got nothing! I honestly thought I would have to go back to him and say, "I guess I'm a dunce...I didn't catch them." But, I trusted him. He said it would be rather obvious if I paid attention.

Near the very end of the movie, those two words hit me like a ton of bricks, and for more reasons than my friend could possibly have known.

WHAT IF?

Oh goodness. If I could tell each of you how many times I've used those two words in my life, and if I had a dollar for each time I've used them, I'd BE in Tuscany!! In the movie, "what if" is described as two words which, when separated, have very little value. Put them together, and they signify much more. I've known this to be true for many of my adult years.

As most of you know, I've spent many years struggling (while in college and in more recent years) with panic attacks. When fears come at you like the wind to assail your mind and your spirit, honestly, you feel tossed to and fro. When you allow those fears to begin to take over, you begin to worry about all the "what ifs" in life.....here are what a few of mine look and looked like:

• What if I go out with friends, start to have a panic attack, need to leave and then ruin everyone's night out?
• What if I go to class and in the middle of the professor's lecture, I have to get up and leave, and then I look stupid?
• What if I get out on 85 and there's a wreck? I'll be trapped and can't escape.
• What if I trust someone and they break my heart?
• What if I try to do something I've never done before only to look like an idiot?
• What if I fail?
• What if I succeed?

What if? What If? WHAT IF?? AAARRRGGGHHHH STOP THE MADNESS!!!

In the movie, "what if" was placed together to pose the question of "what if we dare to dream and dreams really do come true?" Or, "what if you never take the chance to love, and it passes you by?" "What if the things we've longed for really are possible in our lives?" "What if?"

My friend was right, and I'm eternally grateful to him for helping me look for the two words in a new light. As we were talking about the movie and I was crying, sharing why those words were so profound to me (he hadn't learned about the history of the panic stuff yet), he asked me a really great question: "Isn't it great that God has now been able to redeem those two words for you so that the next time you start to think "what if" in a bad way, you can now counter it with asking the same question in an affirming way?"

God, thank You for great friends who cause me to think and to look at You in a whole new way. So, my dear friend, you know who you are. I've thanked you before, and I will again here. May God truly bless you as you ponder your "what ifs".....I've shared mine with you, so I can't wait to hear more of yours, too!

OH! And as for where I'd like to go on my honeymoon, well, "what if"???

What If........