Accepted And Loved

Hi Everyone and Merry Christmas!

I thought I'd share a bit about "Cardboard Testimonies". Several months ago, I posted a You Tube clip that brought me to tears in which a church had some of their members walking across the stage, holding a sign that showed the labels they've worn that the world had given them. You'd see things like "rejected. unlovable. unworthy. cancer patient. barren. ugly., etc." As the person stands holding their sign, they turn the sign around to show the name that God had given them. On this sign, you'd see things like "approved. lovable. worthy. cancer free. new mother. beautiful princess, etc."

The point being that satan tries to label us with all kinds of ugly lies. Scripture tells us that satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. If he can get us to wear labels that serve to cut us down, tear our lives apart and and force us to walk around in defeat, he's won. But the God that I serve gives each of us a name that serves to build up, encourage and edify. How I love Him so.

Those of you reading this blog know me well enough to know that I walked around my whole life buying into the labels that satan attacked me with. Things like "abused. not worth it. ugly. fat. rejected." I listened to the lies that satan perpetrated on me. I heard his whispers in the night: "you'll never have someone who'll love you. you'll never get married. you'll never be a mother. you'll never add up to anything. you'll never be worth it. no one will ever think you're special enough to love deeply and enough to spend their lives with you."

Those words crippled me for a long time. I lived my life for far too long accepting his lies for truth. I walked in defeat, accepted relationships in my life that were not safe, productive or loving. In the past, I said to many of my single friends that my plan was to "wait around until God brings the ONE man into my life who thinks I'm 'worth it', who approves of me 'as-is', and falls in love with me and chooses me to be his partner. THEN, I'm gonna lose all this weight, and won't he be the lucky one for it?" Ewww, just typing that gives me the chills! That's totally giving my personal responsibility away and looking for someone to "complete me". Ya'll, Renee Zelwegger did NOT have it right in Jerry Maguire. No man is meant to complete me. Nothing and no one, other than my Creator, is my "Completer".

It's been a pretty monumental year for me as I realized and recognize God as the source of my life. Everything I need--truly need--comes from Him. He pours his love and acceptance into me. Everything else is just overflow. The people in my life, my friends, my family, my job, my home, etc...they're just overflow. Wonderful and beautiful overflow.

This is how I know that NOW, finally now, I am ready to accept intimate love into my life. A year ago, I was dating someone, but I looked to him to make me FEEL better about myself, to make me FEEL loved. To make me FEEL accepted. To make me FEEL like I could open my heart and trust. To make me FEEL attractive and pretty. But that was SOOO unfair to him. That's not a man's job. That's MY job....to receive all those things--love, acceptance, trust--from God. Then, as I'm filled with HIM, I get to choose who deserves intimate access to my heart. That is what allows me to choose a safe, godly, protective, edifying man into my life, one I can walk alongside in ministry together (YES, Lord!!)...when (and only when) God says, "Yes". When that time comes, I now know that I will be able to praise Him for that person and for the things that he will ADD to my life. That wonderful man and all that encompasses him will be overflow!

Blogger's Note: that may have seemed as somewhat of an aside; however, the messages all play into the Labels that I've worn that have been placed around my neck and in my heart by satan. Now, on to the even better news!

This Sunday at Crossroads, Lowell used the message of the "Cardboard Testimonies" to share a message about Names and Labels. We were each given an index card in which we were asked to write down some of our very own labels. We were able to take them to the altar and lay them down and then pick up a card that had a response to those labels, the Names that God has given us. After crying through writing my labels down...ick, that was really hard....I went to the altar and picked up, of all things, "Accepted and Loved". Well, that just made me cry more!! What a beautiful message from God at Christmas! I am Accepted and Loved by my Lord.

May 2009 be the year that, with the Lord's help, the support and accountability of friends and the love of my family, this message of acceptance and love is truly lived out in my life. Lived out in abundant overflow.

Merry Christmas and Lots of Love,
Kara