Hi Everyone,
I'm trying to find a new blog layout. There's just not that much out there catching my eye, but I certainly don't have the ability to create and design one myself. For now, I think I'll stick with this one--at least until I find something I like better.
What do you think?
Do Good, Y'all!
Kara
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Giving Back to Vickie
Hello Blog Readers!
Last week, Cabarrus County truly lost an angel on earth as my friend and former teacher Vickie Honeycutt passed away after a long bout with breast cancer. While we know that cancer can't rob a person of their reward in Heaven, I can't help but be struck with the pain that Vickie's husband and children must be dealing with now. In that sense, Alan, Ashley, & Dane--this one's for you!
Vickie was my friend years before she was my teacher. I grew up in a small Mount Pleasant church, MPUMC, and was in a class of only 4 girls my age. When we went into middle school, Vickie was our Sunday School teacher. We met in the church library, and I remember that on the first day we met, she encouraged us to know that her class would be a place where we would learn about Jesus, but we would also learn about ourselves. She told us we were in a safe place where we could share what was going on in life. She said she wanted us to be honest with ourselves and others and that she would help us navigate the changing world of young teens. She quickly became a friend and trusted confidante.
My sophomore year of high school, Vickie became Mrs. Honeycutt. She was my AP English teacher. Her classroom, as her Sunday School class years before, was a safe place for her students. Oh, she was demanding, and she didn't let her students take her class lightly. She had high expectations, and she wanted each of her students to learn all they could about diagramming sentences, gain a love for poetry and prose, and she instilled a life-long love of journalling in this student. I can't thank her enough for my journal--a Carolina blue (are you shocked) spiral-bound notebook, filled with my thoughts and dreams for the future. In her trademark red fine-tip Bic flair pen, she would write encouraging notes, challenge me to look at a problem from all sides, and exhibit the warmth and love for me that I had always known was there.
Something else stood out about Vickie, however, and that was her deep and abiding concern and compassion for her students' lives. Filled with teenage angst, we would pour into her classroom, ready to read Twelve Angry Men outloud, and she would meet us with a warm smile that reassured us that everything would be alright.
I'll never, ever, forget one day in particular in Vickie's classroom. A girl in my class, one I was not particularly fond of at the time (we were teenage girls after all), learned that her boyfriend had broken up with her during lunchtime. She was incredibly heartbroken, crying, sitting alone on one of the benches near the library. Our English class was immediately after lunch, and the girl did not show up for class. When Mrs. Honeycutt asked where she was and was informed of what happened, she quickly assigned a journal writing project, left the classroom, and went to spend the next 20 minutes with the girl, comforting her and sharing her pain. THAT was Vickie. She exhibited Christ's love on a daily basis for her students and was the model of teaching professionalism and ethics.
Twenty years after graduation, I sit at a computer and share my thoughts, my life, my pain, my joys with those who choose to read my blog. Just as my journals have always been, this is my outlet, my release, and a source of joy for me. I can't help but thank Vickie for inspiring and helping to nurture my love for the written word. I may never be a Faulkner or a Shakespeare, but a writer's truth, a poet's soul, must find ways to be expressed. I am so grateful to Vickie and other English teachers I had (Mrs. Suther, Mrs. Barringer & Mrs. Fesperman) for being the mentors and encouragers in my journey as a writer.
Sitting in the church as hundreds of people paid their respects and mourned Vickie's loss last week, I was struck with the urge to "give back". I needed to find a way to say thank you to Vickie and the men and women who have poured into my life as educators. (Are you one of the people who can literally name every single teacher you've had from elementary through high school? I can, and I can tell you specific stories and lessons I learned in each of their classrooms.) I knew I wanted, and needed, to give back, but how could I possibly honor the lives of those who've meant so much to me?
This past Saturday, I found my answer! I signed up with the Cabarrus Literacy Council to become an Adult Literacy Tutor, and spent Saturday and part of Monday evening receiving training! I will be paired with one of the more than 35,000 American-born residents of Cabarrus County whose literacy rate places them at 5th grade or below. We'll meet and begin the journey of allowing the person to learn to read, write, gain basic math skills, etc. I can't wait until my person can go to a restaurant and read a menu, get a driver's license after taking the test, obtain their GED, whatever their goal is.
Sitting in the classroom on Saturday morning, each of the tutors were asked why they were at the Council--what brought us there? As I introduced myself, I spoke of Vickie, and I shared that I felt it was my tribute to her to help inspire another person to love to read and write, just as she had inspired me.
Vickie, I hope that you're looking down from Heaven and noticing my small tribute to you. Thank you for all you poured into my life. Heaven is all the more beautiful and glorious to have you there. We are all still sad to no longer have you with us, but I and hundreds of your friends and family members have many beautiful memories of you to inspire and encourage us to focus on Desiderata ("those things most needed or desired"). You were right when you shared with us that, "with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world." I love you and miss you.
Last week, Cabarrus County truly lost an angel on earth as my friend and former teacher Vickie Honeycutt passed away after a long bout with breast cancer. While we know that cancer can't rob a person of their reward in Heaven, I can't help but be struck with the pain that Vickie's husband and children must be dealing with now. In that sense, Alan, Ashley, & Dane--this one's for you!
Vickie was my friend years before she was my teacher. I grew up in a small Mount Pleasant church, MPUMC, and was in a class of only 4 girls my age. When we went into middle school, Vickie was our Sunday School teacher. We met in the church library, and I remember that on the first day we met, she encouraged us to know that her class would be a place where we would learn about Jesus, but we would also learn about ourselves. She told us we were in a safe place where we could share what was going on in life. She said she wanted us to be honest with ourselves and others and that she would help us navigate the changing world of young teens. She quickly became a friend and trusted confidante.
My sophomore year of high school, Vickie became Mrs. Honeycutt. She was my AP English teacher. Her classroom, as her Sunday School class years before, was a safe place for her students. Oh, she was demanding, and she didn't let her students take her class lightly. She had high expectations, and she wanted each of her students to learn all they could about diagramming sentences, gain a love for poetry and prose, and she instilled a life-long love of journalling in this student. I can't thank her enough for my journal--a Carolina blue (are you shocked) spiral-bound notebook, filled with my thoughts and dreams for the future. In her trademark red fine-tip Bic flair pen, she would write encouraging notes, challenge me to look at a problem from all sides, and exhibit the warmth and love for me that I had always known was there.
Something else stood out about Vickie, however, and that was her deep and abiding concern and compassion for her students' lives. Filled with teenage angst, we would pour into her classroom, ready to read Twelve Angry Men outloud, and she would meet us with a warm smile that reassured us that everything would be alright.
I'll never, ever, forget one day in particular in Vickie's classroom. A girl in my class, one I was not particularly fond of at the time (we were teenage girls after all), learned that her boyfriend had broken up with her during lunchtime. She was incredibly heartbroken, crying, sitting alone on one of the benches near the library. Our English class was immediately after lunch, and the girl did not show up for class. When Mrs. Honeycutt asked where she was and was informed of what happened, she quickly assigned a journal writing project, left the classroom, and went to spend the next 20 minutes with the girl, comforting her and sharing her pain. THAT was Vickie. She exhibited Christ's love on a daily basis for her students and was the model of teaching professionalism and ethics.
Twenty years after graduation, I sit at a computer and share my thoughts, my life, my pain, my joys with those who choose to read my blog. Just as my journals have always been, this is my outlet, my release, and a source of joy for me. I can't help but thank Vickie for inspiring and helping to nurture my love for the written word. I may never be a Faulkner or a Shakespeare, but a writer's truth, a poet's soul, must find ways to be expressed. I am so grateful to Vickie and other English teachers I had (Mrs. Suther, Mrs. Barringer & Mrs. Fesperman) for being the mentors and encouragers in my journey as a writer.
Sitting in the church as hundreds of people paid their respects and mourned Vickie's loss last week, I was struck with the urge to "give back". I needed to find a way to say thank you to Vickie and the men and women who have poured into my life as educators. (Are you one of the people who can literally name every single teacher you've had from elementary through high school? I can, and I can tell you specific stories and lessons I learned in each of their classrooms.) I knew I wanted, and needed, to give back, but how could I possibly honor the lives of those who've meant so much to me?
This past Saturday, I found my answer! I signed up with the Cabarrus Literacy Council to become an Adult Literacy Tutor, and spent Saturday and part of Monday evening receiving training! I will be paired with one of the more than 35,000 American-born residents of Cabarrus County whose literacy rate places them at 5th grade or below. We'll meet and begin the journey of allowing the person to learn to read, write, gain basic math skills, etc. I can't wait until my person can go to a restaurant and read a menu, get a driver's license after taking the test, obtain their GED, whatever their goal is.
Sitting in the classroom on Saturday morning, each of the tutors were asked why they were at the Council--what brought us there? As I introduced myself, I spoke of Vickie, and I shared that I felt it was my tribute to her to help inspire another person to love to read and write, just as she had inspired me.
Vickie, I hope that you're looking down from Heaven and noticing my small tribute to you. Thank you for all you poured into my life. Heaven is all the more beautiful and glorious to have you there. We are all still sad to no longer have you with us, but I and hundreds of your friends and family members have many beautiful memories of you to inspire and encourage us to focus on Desiderata ("those things most needed or desired"). You were right when you shared with us that, "with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world." I love you and miss you.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Cow Cow Kara, Aretha & The "R" Word
I’ll never forget the sting of their words. My eighth grade yearbook that I was so proud of was littered with references to it. Displayed for all to see was my worst nightmares—the references to my size, my weight, written in black ink for all eternity.
I had been labeled "Cow Cow Kara”, the pride of Mount Pleasant Middle School. As a thirteen year old girl, the last thing I wanted to be known for was the one obvious blight on my existence. I was the “fat kid”. I was also the one who was not only the fat kid, but I was the “smart fat kid that wore glasses”. Aaarrrggghhhh.
I was always the last one picked on a team. Then again, by middle school, I was so humiliated to have to “dress out” in shorts and t-shirts that I became quite astute at faking reasons to get out of having to participate. In 8th grade Health & PE, we had an assignment that had us “marry off” to members of our class, have “flour babies”, make budgets, etc. I prayed for days that I wouldn’t have to get married, that I could be a single person, because I was dreading the response of groans from the unlucky pubescent boy who would be stuck with the fat wife that nobody wanted.
I don’t know if you’ve ever had an experience like mine, but today, just months shy of my 40th birthday, I have to admit that I still carry those words with me like a badge of dishonor. Yes, I still am that overweight kid from many years ago in my heart, and the struggle with food and weight has been one I’ve battled my entire life.
When we are children, we don’t have the ability to resolve the internal conflict that people’s words generate. The old adage “sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me” is an outright lie. Words DO hurt. They label us. They wound us, and the worst part is they stick with us for many years. As an adult, if someone calls you a name, most of us are able to look past the words and reason away that the person was having a bad day, was stressed about something that had nothing to do with us, or maybe they’d just had a few too many drinks that day! Unfortunately, children don’t have the ability to do that, so names like “Cow Cow Kara” stick, and they leave fingerprints on our souls.
An equally disturbing and hurtful label is being bandied about in society with little to no regard for the impact it might have. Those of us who work in the field of intellectual/developmental disabilities no say the “R” word….retarded. Labeling a person with a disability as retarded is the same as calling me Cow Cow or calling someone of African-American descent the “N” word, and as far as I know, no one with any sense of decency or decorum would do that.
Mark Twain once said, “the difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between lightning and the lightning bug”. When a person chooses to use a word such as “retarded” to label a person, to point out a supposed difference, or to make fun of someone our society is hurt. Our ignorance, our inability to empathize with the lives of others only serves to diminish our humanity.
If a person who has a disability is called “retarded”, “slow”, a “moron”, “backward”, “birdbrained”, “stupid”, or a “retard” etc., believe me, those words stick and they are never forgotten. The pain that is attached to those words can’t be overstated. The people I have met during my years at The Arc of Cabarrus are anything but those words. They are loving, gregarious, hopeful, friendly, intelligent, outgoing, empathetic, and caring. They hurt when they are sad. They get angry. They laugh outrageously when they’re having a good time, and boy do they ever love to have a good time! They work. They fall in love. They have friends. They get into fights with their friends. They end friendships. They have dreams for their futures. In essence, they are just like you and me!
It would absolutely break my heart to ever hear one of my friends referred to by using a slur. So many of us define ourselves based on the names and words we are called as children. If society continues to perpetuate those negative slurs through television, movies, comedic acts, and every day language, these amazing friends of mine will hear it, and they are affected. We, as a nation, are better than this.
March is the month in which Special Olympics sponsored an effort to “Spread the Word to End the Word”, effectively encouraging people in the US and around the world to eliminate the “R” word for their language. Over 112,000 people logged on to their website and took the pledge. I encourage each of our members of The Arc to share this information with your friends, neighbors and co-workers. If you hear the use of the “R” word, share with them that “retarded” hurts, BUT there is a NEW “R” word that they can use when thinking about persons who have intellectual or developmental disabilities….R-E-S-P-E-C-T!! Respect….Aretha Franklin says it best…”Find out what it means to me”. Respect takes into consideration the humanity of each of us--regardless of our weight, the color of our skin, or our intellectual or developmental levels.
I had been labeled "Cow Cow Kara”, the pride of Mount Pleasant Middle School. As a thirteen year old girl, the last thing I wanted to be known for was the one obvious blight on my existence. I was the “fat kid”. I was also the one who was not only the fat kid, but I was the “smart fat kid that wore glasses”. Aaarrrggghhhh.
I was always the last one picked on a team. Then again, by middle school, I was so humiliated to have to “dress out” in shorts and t-shirts that I became quite astute at faking reasons to get out of having to participate. In 8th grade Health & PE, we had an assignment that had us “marry off” to members of our class, have “flour babies”, make budgets, etc. I prayed for days that I wouldn’t have to get married, that I could be a single person, because I was dreading the response of groans from the unlucky pubescent boy who would be stuck with the fat wife that nobody wanted.
I don’t know if you’ve ever had an experience like mine, but today, just months shy of my 40th birthday, I have to admit that I still carry those words with me like a badge of dishonor. Yes, I still am that overweight kid from many years ago in my heart, and the struggle with food and weight has been one I’ve battled my entire life.
When we are children, we don’t have the ability to resolve the internal conflict that people’s words generate. The old adage “sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me” is an outright lie. Words DO hurt. They label us. They wound us, and the worst part is they stick with us for many years. As an adult, if someone calls you a name, most of us are able to look past the words and reason away that the person was having a bad day, was stressed about something that had nothing to do with us, or maybe they’d just had a few too many drinks that day! Unfortunately, children don’t have the ability to do that, so names like “Cow Cow Kara” stick, and they leave fingerprints on our souls.
An equally disturbing and hurtful label is being bandied about in society with little to no regard for the impact it might have. Those of us who work in the field of intellectual/developmental disabilities no say the “R” word….retarded. Labeling a person with a disability as retarded is the same as calling me Cow Cow or calling someone of African-American descent the “N” word, and as far as I know, no one with any sense of decency or decorum would do that.
Mark Twain once said, “the difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between lightning and the lightning bug”. When a person chooses to use a word such as “retarded” to label a person, to point out a supposed difference, or to make fun of someone our society is hurt. Our ignorance, our inability to empathize with the lives of others only serves to diminish our humanity.
If a person who has a disability is called “retarded”, “slow”, a “moron”, “backward”, “birdbrained”, “stupid”, or a “retard” etc., believe me, those words stick and they are never forgotten. The pain that is attached to those words can’t be overstated. The people I have met during my years at The Arc of Cabarrus are anything but those words. They are loving, gregarious, hopeful, friendly, intelligent, outgoing, empathetic, and caring. They hurt when they are sad. They get angry. They laugh outrageously when they’re having a good time, and boy do they ever love to have a good time! They work. They fall in love. They have friends. They get into fights with their friends. They end friendships. They have dreams for their futures. In essence, they are just like you and me!
It would absolutely break my heart to ever hear one of my friends referred to by using a slur. So many of us define ourselves based on the names and words we are called as children. If society continues to perpetuate those negative slurs through television, movies, comedic acts, and every day language, these amazing friends of mine will hear it, and they are affected. We, as a nation, are better than this.
March is the month in which Special Olympics sponsored an effort to “Spread the Word to End the Word”, effectively encouraging people in the US and around the world to eliminate the “R” word for their language. Over 112,000 people logged on to their website and took the pledge. I encourage each of our members of The Arc to share this information with your friends, neighbors and co-workers. If you hear the use of the “R” word, share with them that “retarded” hurts, BUT there is a NEW “R” word that they can use when thinking about persons who have intellectual or developmental disabilities….R-E-S-P-E-C-T!! Respect….Aretha Franklin says it best…”Find out what it means to me”. Respect takes into consideration the humanity of each of us--regardless of our weight, the color of our skin, or our intellectual or developmental levels.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
You Can Tell Everybody---This is YOUR Song....
"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
Hello Everyone...it's been such a long time since I've taken the time to post on my blog. I suppose I should take some time to update you on how life's been going since my last posts, but then quickly move on to the point of my post today.
When we first began this journey, you'll recall that I was mired in the nightmare of the recurrence of panic attacks and anxiety. God uses so many varied ways to draw us closer to Himself, and I can say with 100% certainty, this desert wandering of mine has led me to a relationship with Him that I could only have imagined two and a half years ago. Thanks to a mighty prayer war counselor, a terrific family doctor, my parents, a host of friends and loved ones, and His loving touch, so many things have changed for the better. So, all is well!
Now, that certainly doesn't mean that there aren't battles along the way. I still struggle with knowing I'm not in full-time ministry anymore. I miss "my children" more than I could say. I love The Arc and the people we work for..they are bright lights in my life. But, when you know that you're called to one area of work and you're not living out your calling, it's really difficult. I've cried out on numerous occasions, wondering if God has forgotten me in the past months. (OK, now I know that He hasn't, but let's be honest, sometimes it just FEELS as if we're left on the sidelines during the Super Bowl. Then again, the way I would play football, the sidelines are exactly where I SHOULD be....but I digress!)
Of course, I still wonder about that whole "M" word. No, I don't mean meatloaf, I mean marriage--although there's nothing like a good meatloaf sandwich every now and again. Ahhh, the joys, trials and tribulations of dating in your late 30s. And, do I ever mean LATE 30s....the latest of late 30s....39!!! How'd that happen? I'd swear it was just yesterday when I was in high school, listening to Bon Jovi, and dancing around my room with my hairbrush. Oh, wait. That WAS yesterday...you just can't beat some great Bon Jovi!! So the marriage thing--I'm still relying on Him to lead in that area. If I trust my eternal salvation to Him, I'd think that would mean I could trust my earthly desires and dreams to His safe-keeping as well. (However, if any of you would like to help Him out a bit...you know my phone number!)
On to the purpose of my post today. The Scripture I quoted above is one of my all-time favorites. Can't you just envision God in Heaven looking down on each of His children and with the love and esteem only a parent can have for His child, rejoicing over us? Can you imagine Him being so captivated by you that He literally sings when He sees you? Do you ever catch yourself humming a tune when you're happy?
As someone who is so drawn by music and who loves to spend hours just soaking in His presence with great music, I find it especially encouraging to know that He sings over me.
Years ago, I was at a women's retreat when I began reflecting on this Scripture. I remember sitting out on a dock, in a rocking chair, with my journal. My journals have so much in them--everything from my daily happenings, to prayers, to artwork (bad as it may be), to poetry--but this day, something special was added to it. MY SONG!! I asked God if He has a special song for each of His children as He sings. I thought that if God was so creative He could invent more than 350,000 different types of beetles, He has to be creative enough to have unique songs for each of His kids.
I asked Him if He could share with me what He sang when He looked at me. I rested in His presence and quietly waited for what might happen. I felt a gentle nudge to open the journal and just write whatever came on the paper. I did just that. When I was finished, I was weeping. On the pages before me was my song...MY SONG! It could have been titled "Kara Annette", I don't know. I named it "I Sing Over You", for obvious reasons as you'll soon see.
I've never had the courage to share these words with anyone, but for some reason, I believe I'm supposed to today. Maybe someone reading will be encouraged by the words; again, I don't know. In my heart of hearts, I would LOVE for someone to take the words and see if there's any way that they could be turned into a song. Just once, this side of Heaven, I'd love to hear what My Song sounds like. I doubt that will ever happen, but just reading these words again has been quite special. They came to me at a time when I needed desperately to know that He loved me; that He saw me; that He heard me; and that He knew the desires of my heart. I trust now that He has always loved me, always sees me, hears my prayers before I speak them, and that He will give me the desires of my heart.....be encouraged. It's certainly not going down in the record books of best lyrics ever, but that doesn't matter. It's my song!
"I Sing Over You"
My beloved, I sing over you,
Showering my love in rhythm and rhyme.
Precious child, gentle and true,
All of my grace, I pour out on you.
Faithful friend, I sing over you,
Offering notes of pure melody.
Offering notes of pure melody.
Redeemed daughter, your heart I will mend,
Time and again, forgiveness I commend.
Forever Mine, I sing over you,
Composing the symphony of your life.
Masterpiece of devotion and praise,
Recieve my acceptance the rest of your days.
So come to me; let me sing over you.
Dance for me; I'll sing over you.
Worship me; you don't have to pretend.
Sing for me; our love song won't end.
As I sing over you, sing over Me.
As I rejoice over you, rejoice over Me.
Know in your heart I'm forever true.
And you'll feel my joy, as I sing over you.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Living in the "Dash"
Kara Annette McAbee
Tar Heel Born & Bred
1971 - ?
(***Confession---this blog post has yet to be edited. I've got a burden to share these words right now, so I'm posting without editing....anything spelled incorrectly, poor grammar, etc. will be corrected when I get back to it tomorrow! I hope you'll overlook anything like that, and just hear my heart. Thanks. Kara)
A lot of life goes on between the dash. Laughter. Tears. Joy. Sorrows. Giggling and cooing. Toddling around. First words. First loves. First heartbreaks. Good decisions. Poor decisions. Regrets. Health battles. Losing loved ones. Grief. Friends. Loves lost. Rejections.
I suppose that it's up to each of us how we choose to live our own dash. Will we become world famous leaders, poets, mine workers, secretaries, mommies, friends, lovers, athletes, etc.?
I've spent many a year, and I would suspect that most of us do, wasting the time that my dash represents. In recent weeks, however, I've decided to take better stock of how I'm using my dash. In my favorite poem, "Desiderata", there's a line that says we should "take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth."
In the Bible, there was another person who reflected back on the folly of his youth and much of his life, King Solomon. Solomon, as you may recall, was the son of King David. He was wealthy beyond compare. He had multiple wives and concubines. Servants galore. Palaces. Gold. Silver. Livestock. Land. All the things that money (and wars) could afford a king. Yet Solomon, reknown for his wisdom recorded in Proverbs searched over his vast kingdom and all that he had amassed, and in the book of Ecclesiastes, he records the following:
"Smoke, nothing but smoke. There's nothing to anything—it's all smoke. What's there to show for a lifetime of work, a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone? One generation goes its way, the next one arrives, but nothing changes—it's business as usual for old planet earth. The sun comes up and the sun goes down, then does it again, and again—the same old round. The wind blows south, the wind blows north. Around and around and around it blows, blowing this way, then that—the whirling, erratic wind. Everything's boring, utterly boring—no one can find any meaning in it. Boring to the eye, boring to the ear. What was will be again, what happened will happen again. There's nothing new on this earth. Year after year it's the same old thing. Does someone call out, "Hey, this is new"? Don't get excited—it's the same old story. Nobody remembers what happened yesterday. And the things that will happen tomorrow? Nobody'll remember them either. Don't count on being remembered." (The Message)
Sounds like Solomon had a serious case of the "poor pitiful me's". (Luckily they make medicines for people with these kinds of moods now!) Solomon is basically saying that, despite all he had accomplished through the course of his life, it was all pretty much meaningless. What he was failing to take into consideration was the power and the joy in a life fulfilled by allowing God to bring you to a full awakening of all we are meant to be in Him.
Serving others, giving back to others, encouraging them, listening to them, providing counsel, etc. when you are not operating out of the overflow of the Holy Spirit is nothing but smoke. Our efforts are in vain, and we are not effective in our attempts to minister to those around us. If we are to be light to this hurting world, we must take seriously our own individual spiritual growth and development.
How do we do this? I believe the secret is found in cultivating a lifestyle of worship. Worship is something we've distorted and shrunk to fit into our "one size fits all" society. Most people would define worship as singing in church to a particular style of music. After all, it carries the name "praise and worship", so that must be it, right? Well, yes and no. Of course, singing is a part of worship, as long as it is done in spirit and truth, with the right motives. It's certainly not about "flipping on a switch" on Sunday morning, checking in at church with all our friends, saying a prayer, dropping some money in the offering plate and then running out at 11:58 to get to the buffet line before the Baptists do.
Worship is, and should be, a lifestyle. It's what I do. It's who I am. It consumes me. When I wake up in the morning, I'm already conversing with God, because He wakes me with a song already in my mind. I welcome the morning by saying "good morning" to Him, and I begin to ask Him to be with me throughout the day. My morning devotions, prayer and quiet time alone with Him are the sweetest parts of my day. I never say "Amen" during a prayer, because I don't believe that prayer should ever stop. He's the dearest, most trusted friend I have, or ever will have, so why would I need to put an end to it? As I'm driving, I'm singing, thanking Him for His creation, asking Him to bless the person who almost totalled my car (yes, that was yesterday), etc. At work, I'm working for Him, even though I'm in a secular job. I know that what I'm doing is blessing Him because I'm focusing on being a blessing to my co-workers and the people I work for.
A lifestyle of worship is not difficult. It's simply a matter of being present. Present in the moment so that you can recognize the people who God places in your path. Present so that you can give back to Him, and present so that He can constantly be refilling your earthly vessel. Then, out of the overflow, we can give to others. It's really that simple.
In looking back over the course of my life, I pray that I will be able to come to a different conclusion than did Solomon. I pray that my dash will be far from smoke. I hope that I've been able (and will continue to be able) to make an eternal difference in the lives of many of the people I've met along this journey home.
Making Heaven a Bit More Crowded,
Kara
Tar Heel Born & Bred
1971 - ?
(***Confession---this blog post has yet to be edited. I've got a burden to share these words right now, so I'm posting without editing....anything spelled incorrectly, poor grammar, etc. will be corrected when I get back to it tomorrow! I hope you'll overlook anything like that, and just hear my heart. Thanks. Kara)
A lot of life goes on between the dash. Laughter. Tears. Joy. Sorrows. Giggling and cooing. Toddling around. First words. First loves. First heartbreaks. Good decisions. Poor decisions. Regrets. Health battles. Losing loved ones. Grief. Friends. Loves lost. Rejections.
I suppose that it's up to each of us how we choose to live our own dash. Will we become world famous leaders, poets, mine workers, secretaries, mommies, friends, lovers, athletes, etc.?
I've spent many a year, and I would suspect that most of us do, wasting the time that my dash represents. In recent weeks, however, I've decided to take better stock of how I'm using my dash. In my favorite poem, "Desiderata", there's a line that says we should "take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth."
In the Bible, there was another person who reflected back on the folly of his youth and much of his life, King Solomon. Solomon, as you may recall, was the son of King David. He was wealthy beyond compare. He had multiple wives and concubines. Servants galore. Palaces. Gold. Silver. Livestock. Land. All the things that money (and wars) could afford a king. Yet Solomon, reknown for his wisdom recorded in Proverbs searched over his vast kingdom and all that he had amassed, and in the book of Ecclesiastes, he records the following:
"Smoke, nothing but smoke. There's nothing to anything—it's all smoke. What's there to show for a lifetime of work, a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone? One generation goes its way, the next one arrives, but nothing changes—it's business as usual for old planet earth. The sun comes up and the sun goes down, then does it again, and again—the same old round. The wind blows south, the wind blows north. Around and around and around it blows, blowing this way, then that—the whirling, erratic wind. Everything's boring, utterly boring—no one can find any meaning in it. Boring to the eye, boring to the ear. What was will be again, what happened will happen again. There's nothing new on this earth. Year after year it's the same old thing. Does someone call out, "Hey, this is new"? Don't get excited—it's the same old story. Nobody remembers what happened yesterday. And the things that will happen tomorrow? Nobody'll remember them either. Don't count on being remembered." (The Message)
Sounds like Solomon had a serious case of the "poor pitiful me's". (Luckily they make medicines for people with these kinds of moods now!) Solomon is basically saying that, despite all he had accomplished through the course of his life, it was all pretty much meaningless. What he was failing to take into consideration was the power and the joy in a life fulfilled by allowing God to bring you to a full awakening of all we are meant to be in Him.
Serving others, giving back to others, encouraging them, listening to them, providing counsel, etc. when you are not operating out of the overflow of the Holy Spirit is nothing but smoke. Our efforts are in vain, and we are not effective in our attempts to minister to those around us. If we are to be light to this hurting world, we must take seriously our own individual spiritual growth and development.
How do we do this? I believe the secret is found in cultivating a lifestyle of worship. Worship is something we've distorted and shrunk to fit into our "one size fits all" society. Most people would define worship as singing in church to a particular style of music. After all, it carries the name "praise and worship", so that must be it, right? Well, yes and no. Of course, singing is a part of worship, as long as it is done in spirit and truth, with the right motives. It's certainly not about "flipping on a switch" on Sunday morning, checking in at church with all our friends, saying a prayer, dropping some money in the offering plate and then running out at 11:58 to get to the buffet line before the Baptists do.
Worship is, and should be, a lifestyle. It's what I do. It's who I am. It consumes me. When I wake up in the morning, I'm already conversing with God, because He wakes me with a song already in my mind. I welcome the morning by saying "good morning" to Him, and I begin to ask Him to be with me throughout the day. My morning devotions, prayer and quiet time alone with Him are the sweetest parts of my day. I never say "Amen" during a prayer, because I don't believe that prayer should ever stop. He's the dearest, most trusted friend I have, or ever will have, so why would I need to put an end to it? As I'm driving, I'm singing, thanking Him for His creation, asking Him to bless the person who almost totalled my car (yes, that was yesterday), etc. At work, I'm working for Him, even though I'm in a secular job. I know that what I'm doing is blessing Him because I'm focusing on being a blessing to my co-workers and the people I work for.
A lifestyle of worship is not difficult. It's simply a matter of being present. Present in the moment so that you can recognize the people who God places in your path. Present so that you can give back to Him, and present so that He can constantly be refilling your earthly vessel. Then, out of the overflow, we can give to others. It's really that simple.
In looking back over the course of my life, I pray that I will be able to come to a different conclusion than did Solomon. I pray that my dash will be far from smoke. I hope that I've been able (and will continue to be able) to make an eternal difference in the lives of many of the people I've met along this journey home.
Making Heaven a Bit More Crowded,
Kara
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Has it REALLY been 4 Months??
Wow!! I can't believe it's been this long since I've sat down in front of my trusty computer and given you guys an update. Maybe that speaks to the power of coming out of a tunnel. Life has returned to a semblance of "normal", whatever that might be! I'm actually at work, and since I don't have the time to post a really serious update while I'm on the clock (so to speak), I'm going to post what I really stopped by to post.
While in conversation with my friend, Ann, the other evening, we hit on a topic quite similar to what my favorite single author (Hudson Davis) writes about in this article. I'm sharing because it speaks to where I am in my singleness and I think it relates to many who walk the same path.
**IF YOU'RE NOT SINGLE: Please read it anyway. You know someone who is. I promise you that they feel the sting at times, and I promise you they also struggle with how to answer all the questions. Enjoy & learn.
**************************************************
The Myth of Simplicity - Part 1
Hudson Russell Davis
Some of you have wondered if I do not speak so much of God's part in this affair that I remove human responsibility. This is not the case.
It is not that we can do nothing but if you are like me you have done an awful lot and seen little fruit. This is why, for me, the well-meaning phrases only open old wounds. This is why the many books that promise several steps, or worse, several easy steps to finding a mate--bother me. This is what I call the myth of simplicity.
The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships--getting married--should be simple. But simple is what you expect when you see the words "plug and play" and no relationship is plug and play. Simple is what you expect when you pick up a guide for "dummies" and the beauty of Christian marriage was never meant for dummies.
The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships should be simple. The very question, "Why aren't you married yet?" seems to demand an easy answer, a simple answer--an answer that doesn't require long moments of soul searching and prayer. Nobody can accept the simplest of all answers, "I don't know." So we stutter, shuffle our feet, and answer, "Well because..." And whatever we might say is simply designed to appease the simple question--to bring a moment's reprieve from the questioner.
Those who ask seem to presume that it is possible to boil all of life down into a few simple phrases. They ask because they are not comfortable with our singleness. And to be honest, we are not always comfortable with our singleness. This is why we seek the easy answers--any way out.
The myth of simplicity suggests that coming to understand the "why" of singleness would mean the end of singleness. It is the scientific approach to relationships, the natural approach to relationships. I am not suggesting that we cannot improve ourselves. I am not suggesting that there aren't perfectly good things we can do to be more "fit" for marriage. But I deny that these things, as good as they are, work with mathematical precision.
If you become mature you do not automatically find a husband or wife but please--mature.
If you give up that sin you may not immediately find a husband or wife but please--give up that sin.
The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships should be simple and in a perfect world they would be. I suppose in a perfect world all things would be simple; the ground would not resist us, childbirth would be less painful, and we would be naked without shame. But the answer to the question "Why am I not married?" is a little difficult to give. I could sooner understand the goings and coming of the Spirit of God or catch and hold the wind in my frail hands.
No woman has ever called me ugly and all have considered me a man of faith. Still some have thought me too radical in my faith. Some have balked because I did not make enough money or lacked power while others were intimidated by my erudition (look it up). I have been too much of something and too little of some other thing to the point that I have little faith in the changes I can make to win a wife.
I have lost faith that things are as easy as some suggest. Which is good, because that was a bad place to rest faith.
I have had people tell me they have to wash their hair, that they would be free in a "couple of months," while others--just "don't know." The ones who "just don't know" have been the most numerous and the most painful for the very reason that the provide no answers as to "why?" For all these reasons and many that I either do not know or cannot articulate--I am still single. Which is perhaps why I have grown a bit cynical in regard to the easy answers or the simple steps. What has grown over time is my faith in His love for me and His regard for my desires.
The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships should be simple but it has not been simple for me--perhaps not for you. I have taken each failed relationship with varying maturity but they have all hurt. All these relational collisions have led in the same direction--to the search for a simple answer. They have all led to the search for that one thing, or several things if need be, that will gain me the object of my desire. This is what Peter Gabriel calls "the fruitless searches."
The "fruitless searches" lead us to the varied counselors who speak of the "10 Steps to Finding the Perfect Mate," or the "Seven Steps to Being the Perfect Mate," or the "Four Steps to Contentment in Singleness." All these books and every page in them infers that all we need is to do this or do that. All we need are the right answers and the right methods, the proper steps and the full application and all will be well with our souls. It all sounds so simple.
The truth is that they make it seem so easy that after reading I wonder even more what is wrong with me and why love tarries. If it is so simple then why has it been so difficult for me? If it is so simple then what is the complication. And if I am not careful the carousel of reason will eventually return all blame to the one constant in the equation--me.
Oh I know no one writes these books with the intention of pouring salt in open wounds or ripping bandages from a healing cut. They are well meaning people who care and hope to help singles. But they unwittingly offer spoiled meat to starving souls and must not see the sickness they leave.
Relationships should not be as complicated as sin has made them but they should not be as simple as 1-2-3. It is a monumental decision that does not come about from two minutes in the microwave or a few properly administered methods. At the core of each Christians life is a belief, a confident faith that God is working on our behalf. So we try and try and try knowing that we want only what is of Him. This is the simplicity I embrace.
While in conversation with my friend, Ann, the other evening, we hit on a topic quite similar to what my favorite single author (Hudson Davis) writes about in this article. I'm sharing because it speaks to where I am in my singleness and I think it relates to many who walk the same path.
**IF YOU'RE NOT SINGLE: Please read it anyway. You know someone who is. I promise you that they feel the sting at times, and I promise you they also struggle with how to answer all the questions. Enjoy & learn.
**************************************************
The Myth of Simplicity - Part 1
Hudson Russell Davis
Some of you have wondered if I do not speak so much of God's part in this affair that I remove human responsibility. This is not the case.
It is not that we can do nothing but if you are like me you have done an awful lot and seen little fruit. This is why, for me, the well-meaning phrases only open old wounds. This is why the many books that promise several steps, or worse, several easy steps to finding a mate--bother me. This is what I call the myth of simplicity.
The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships--getting married--should be simple. But simple is what you expect when you see the words "plug and play" and no relationship is plug and play. Simple is what you expect when you pick up a guide for "dummies" and the beauty of Christian marriage was never meant for dummies.
The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships should be simple. The very question, "Why aren't you married yet?" seems to demand an easy answer, a simple answer--an answer that doesn't require long moments of soul searching and prayer. Nobody can accept the simplest of all answers, "I don't know." So we stutter, shuffle our feet, and answer, "Well because..." And whatever we might say is simply designed to appease the simple question--to bring a moment's reprieve from the questioner.
Those who ask seem to presume that it is possible to boil all of life down into a few simple phrases. They ask because they are not comfortable with our singleness. And to be honest, we are not always comfortable with our singleness. This is why we seek the easy answers--any way out.
The myth of simplicity suggests that coming to understand the "why" of singleness would mean the end of singleness. It is the scientific approach to relationships, the natural approach to relationships. I am not suggesting that we cannot improve ourselves. I am not suggesting that there aren't perfectly good things we can do to be more "fit" for marriage. But I deny that these things, as good as they are, work with mathematical precision.
If you become mature you do not automatically find a husband or wife but please--mature.
If you give up that sin you may not immediately find a husband or wife but please--give up that sin.
The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships should be simple and in a perfect world they would be. I suppose in a perfect world all things would be simple; the ground would not resist us, childbirth would be less painful, and we would be naked without shame. But the answer to the question "Why am I not married?" is a little difficult to give. I could sooner understand the goings and coming of the Spirit of God or catch and hold the wind in my frail hands.
No woman has ever called me ugly and all have considered me a man of faith. Still some have thought me too radical in my faith. Some have balked because I did not make enough money or lacked power while others were intimidated by my erudition (look it up). I have been too much of something and too little of some other thing to the point that I have little faith in the changes I can make to win a wife.
I have lost faith that things are as easy as some suggest. Which is good, because that was a bad place to rest faith.
I have had people tell me they have to wash their hair, that they would be free in a "couple of months," while others--just "don't know." The ones who "just don't know" have been the most numerous and the most painful for the very reason that the provide no answers as to "why?" For all these reasons and many that I either do not know or cannot articulate--I am still single. Which is perhaps why I have grown a bit cynical in regard to the easy answers or the simple steps. What has grown over time is my faith in His love for me and His regard for my desires.
The myth of simplicity suggests that relationships should be simple but it has not been simple for me--perhaps not for you. I have taken each failed relationship with varying maturity but they have all hurt. All these relational collisions have led in the same direction--to the search for a simple answer. They have all led to the search for that one thing, or several things if need be, that will gain me the object of my desire. This is what Peter Gabriel calls "the fruitless searches."
The "fruitless searches" lead us to the varied counselors who speak of the "10 Steps to Finding the Perfect Mate," or the "Seven Steps to Being the Perfect Mate," or the "Four Steps to Contentment in Singleness." All these books and every page in them infers that all we need is to do this or do that. All we need are the right answers and the right methods, the proper steps and the full application and all will be well with our souls. It all sounds so simple.
The truth is that they make it seem so easy that after reading I wonder even more what is wrong with me and why love tarries. If it is so simple then why has it been so difficult for me? If it is so simple then what is the complication. And if I am not careful the carousel of reason will eventually return all blame to the one constant in the equation--me.
Oh I know no one writes these books with the intention of pouring salt in open wounds or ripping bandages from a healing cut. They are well meaning people who care and hope to help singles. But they unwittingly offer spoiled meat to starving souls and must not see the sickness they leave.
Relationships should not be as complicated as sin has made them but they should not be as simple as 1-2-3. It is a monumental decision that does not come about from two minutes in the microwave or a few properly administered methods. At the core of each Christians life is a belief, a confident faith that God is working on our behalf. So we try and try and try knowing that we want only what is of Him. This is the simplicity I embrace.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tunnel
Hello Members of My Little Corner of the Blogosphere!!
It's been a few weeks since I've updated you on the latest happenings in this crazy life of mine, so I thought I'd take a few minutes and share some insights. I recently posted a thought on Face Book that says, "I live in my own little world. But it's ok, they know me here." A friend wrote back and said it must be called "Kara-ville", so I guess this is the story of life in "Kara-ville".
I've learned recently that Kara-ville is filled with twists and turns, mountains and valleys and one heck of a long tunnel. Now, I didn't see the tunnel being constructed, but I know it exists there, because I have recently come out of that tunnel and have started to see the light of day once more. Kara-ville is actually a beautiful place with gorgeous Carolina Blue skies, sunshiney days and Spring is in the air.
This tunnel was not a particularly enjoyable road to travel; however, I must share with you all that a lot of lessons have been learned while in the tunnel. I just received an email from an old friend, not old in years mind you, but old in the sense of not having seen him in several years, asking about starting a blog. It has caused me to go back in time to when I first began this blog and what its purpose was for me.
One of the first lessons you learn in any Literature class is to "know your audience". Who are you writing for? What do they want to know about what you're writing? How can you best describe for them what you want to share with them? My audience is wide-ranging: family from across North Carolina, Texas and South Carolina, Crossroads family, co-workers, Mom's office staff, people from my political life, people I've run across in various charity work I've done, etc. These people cross all socioeconomic backgrounds and are as diverse as they are special.
I've been honored that you would read, comment and most importantly pray for me as you've read these postings. In June or so of 2008 when they first began, I was quite a shattered woman: panic attacks had come back for the first time since college, I was dealing with a life-changing job loss and the hit to my self-esteem that carried with it, I was ending an almost 2 year relationship, mom was in the middle of another campaign, I had tried to burn my house down (accidentally, of course), Mom was just coming off treatment for breast cancer, gosh there was more, but I'm tired of typing!! Suffice it to say, 2008 was a year I don't really care to revisit....it was just altogether too much!
However, what I've also learned is that all the pressures of the past year sent my body into a tunnel of depression. When I--and remember this is KARA we're talking about here 'cause ya'll know me--stopped going out with friends to movies or dinners or ball games or concerts, stopped having groups in my house for dinner parties, stopped shopping, stopped making a bazillion phone calls every night to check in on friends and loved ones, I should have realized something was wrong. The sad thing about a clinical depression is that sometimes it takes an outside source to see things for how they really are.
I am so blessed to say that's happened, and that the tunnel is now passed through. Kara-ville is, once again, a beautiful place to be. Though I'm taking one day at a time, I'm also taking time to enjoy the beautiful things in life. No longer does my self-worth depend on the job I'm working at, the acheivements and accomplishments in life, whether I'll ever be a size 2 (Ha! Don't count on that one!), whether I'll find that perfect love I long for, etc. My worth comes from the fact that I simply AM. I am who I was created to be....Kara. And forgive me for the SNL reference, but I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!!
There have been so many lessons learned going through the tunnel, along the twists and turns and in the valleys, but as I journey along this path of life, I do believe we're called to remember the people who have helped get us where we are. You, dear readers, are part of my journey. I love each of you, and I'm blessed that you take your time to read, comment, pray and be my friend.
Do Good Things,
Kara
It's been a few weeks since I've updated you on the latest happenings in this crazy life of mine, so I thought I'd take a few minutes and share some insights. I recently posted a thought on Face Book that says, "I live in my own little world. But it's ok, they know me here." A friend wrote back and said it must be called "Kara-ville", so I guess this is the story of life in "Kara-ville".
I've learned recently that Kara-ville is filled with twists and turns, mountains and valleys and one heck of a long tunnel. Now, I didn't see the tunnel being constructed, but I know it exists there, because I have recently come out of that tunnel and have started to see the light of day once more. Kara-ville is actually a beautiful place with gorgeous Carolina Blue skies, sunshiney days and Spring is in the air.
This tunnel was not a particularly enjoyable road to travel; however, I must share with you all that a lot of lessons have been learned while in the tunnel. I just received an email from an old friend, not old in years mind you, but old in the sense of not having seen him in several years, asking about starting a blog. It has caused me to go back in time to when I first began this blog and what its purpose was for me.
One of the first lessons you learn in any Literature class is to "know your audience". Who are you writing for? What do they want to know about what you're writing? How can you best describe for them what you want to share with them? My audience is wide-ranging: family from across North Carolina, Texas and South Carolina, Crossroads family, co-workers, Mom's office staff, people from my political life, people I've run across in various charity work I've done, etc. These people cross all socioeconomic backgrounds and are as diverse as they are special.
I've been honored that you would read, comment and most importantly pray for me as you've read these postings. In June or so of 2008 when they first began, I was quite a shattered woman: panic attacks had come back for the first time since college, I was dealing with a life-changing job loss and the hit to my self-esteem that carried with it, I was ending an almost 2 year relationship, mom was in the middle of another campaign, I had tried to burn my house down (accidentally, of course), Mom was just coming off treatment for breast cancer, gosh there was more, but I'm tired of typing!! Suffice it to say, 2008 was a year I don't really care to revisit....it was just altogether too much!
However, what I've also learned is that all the pressures of the past year sent my body into a tunnel of depression. When I--and remember this is KARA we're talking about here 'cause ya'll know me--stopped going out with friends to movies or dinners or ball games or concerts, stopped having groups in my house for dinner parties, stopped shopping, stopped making a bazillion phone calls every night to check in on friends and loved ones, I should have realized something was wrong. The sad thing about a clinical depression is that sometimes it takes an outside source to see things for how they really are.
I am so blessed to say that's happened, and that the tunnel is now passed through. Kara-ville is, once again, a beautiful place to be. Though I'm taking one day at a time, I'm also taking time to enjoy the beautiful things in life. No longer does my self-worth depend on the job I'm working at, the acheivements and accomplishments in life, whether I'll ever be a size 2 (Ha! Don't count on that one!), whether I'll find that perfect love I long for, etc. My worth comes from the fact that I simply AM. I am who I was created to be....Kara. And forgive me for the SNL reference, but I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!!
There have been so many lessons learned going through the tunnel, along the twists and turns and in the valleys, but as I journey along this path of life, I do believe we're called to remember the people who have helped get us where we are. You, dear readers, are part of my journey. I love each of you, and I'm blessed that you take your time to read, comment, pray and be my friend.
Do Good Things,
Kara
Thursday, March 12, 2009
"According to the Kind Intentions"
Hi Bloggers!
As most of my loyal readers know, I will, from time to time, post articles from guest writers. One of my favorites is Hudson Russell Davis, a Ph.D. candidate at St. Louis University, who is studying historical theology. Hudson is single, and he writes most eloquently about singleness and the inherent struggles involved, as well as where faith comes in to play in the single life. I hope you enjoy this. If you're not single, please read it anyway...I think you'll appreciate his insights.
"In many ways, the message to singles is no different than the message to those in other stages of life. Whether married or single, divorced or widowed, whether young or old, all want to know that the Lord they serve cares.
We desire this because if He cares, then the circumstances of our lives lie within His powerful and capable hands. Things do not automatically make sense, but there is peace in knowing He cares.
It is most important that we think rightly about God before we attempt to think rightly about out circumstances. [Please read that again.] All knowledge of life should flow from our understanding of God. All assessment of the way things are should be done in light of who God is.
I say this because most of our troubles lie not in how we conceive our circumstances but in how we conceive God. If we are confused in our conception of God our perception of our circumstances will be warped. If our circumstances dictate our understanding of God, He will be nothing more than a shifting shadow. And this is not our God. Rather, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" (James 1:17).
Does He care? The answer to this basic question is the foundation of all hope, all praise, and all thanksgiving. If He does not care then it seems utterly ridiculous for those who suffer to obey when Paul writes, "... give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1Th. 5:18).
If the circumstances are what matter, if they are to shape our thinking, then it is more than absurd to say to those in misery, "Give thanks!" It is simply insulting. Give thanks for what?
If circumstances determine our praise, then we praise when things are good and revile when times are hard. This is natural.
If circumstances determine our praise, then we raise our voices when we win and hurl curses when we lose.
If circumstances determined our praise, then we as singles would wait until we have crossed the threshold before we declared His glory. Only the married should give thanks. But they will tell you it is not any easier to give thanks in that place than in this.
If circumstances determined our praise, then even the married might refrain until death had proven the enduring quality of their vows.
But if praise and thanksgiving is indeed "God's will for [us] in Christ Jesus" then it must indeed be in "all circumstances." This giving thanks is contentment marked by confidence in WHO God is. There is no other way to be content in "whatever the circumstances" than to trust that God loves us in all circumstances (Phil. 4:11).
We begin first with our perception of God, and then we move to our circumstances.
We first orient our minds towards the nature of our God, and then consider our circumstances.
We first declare WHO HE IS, and then we attempt to understand the place in which we find ourselves.
We don't give thanks FOR the circumstances; we give thanks IN the circumstances.
Sometimes He lays us down in green pastures.
Sometimes He leads us besides still waters.
And sometimes He leads us through the valley of the shadow of death.
"So," you ask, "where is the restoration of soul He promised?"
It is coming. But first take this and drink it. It may be bitter on your lips, may be hard to swallow, but it will be sweet to your soul. He cares for you and your lack of husband or wife is no evidence to the contrary.
There would be no need to cause all things to work together for good if all things were Good. So He is in all circumstances bringing us to green pastures and still waters. He is in all things working to restore our souls that we might walk in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
In Ephesians we are told that, "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will. ..." (Eph. 1:5). Take your eyes off your circumstances and drink in the fact that His willing our salvation was an act of kindness. We are told that He does this because of the "glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved" (Eph. 1:6).
Put down your dispute for a moment and consider that no one forced His hand. His offer of grace and His acceptance of us were done "freely." He has acted in Love. In the same way He forgave our sins "according to the riches of His grace. ..." (Eph. 1:7). But don't stop there.
Scripture tells us that our Lord's "kind intention" led Him to "freely bestow" "the richness of His grace" which He then "lavished upon us" (Eph. 1:8).
Consider these facts when you consider your circumstances.
Consider this first as you come to know God and THEN turn and see your circumstances.
Consider the God of kind intentions, lavished love and rich grace, freely bestowed.
What I love and what brings me peace during this time of loneliness and longing is the intensity with which Paul communicates this simple truth about our God. He does not code his message nor does he allow the myriad possible circumstances to mitigate his message. Whatever else may be going on, the one constant is a God who is able to calm the storm. It is not the waves but we who have trouble hearing when He whispers, "Peace! Be still" (Mk. 4:39)! The water is calm, but our hearts are still troubled.
I have no idea what you are going through. I know only my own struggle to give thanks. I know only my own struggle to believe and confess that He cares. But the overwhelming testimony of Scripture is that HE CARES!
What we need most to trust is the "kind intention of His will."
What we need most to know is that He cares.
What we need most to know is that He gives freely!
What we need most to know is that He gives lavishly!
While we do not have what we want, the circumstances are louder than the whispered truths. And the circumstances make sense when they speak. They whisper the content of our hurting hearts. They breathe with honesty what we would not think to say out loud. But they speak faithlessness. They speak hopelessness and show an ignorance of God. They are to be answered in the same way Jesus answered His tempter during His time in the desert, "It is written. ..."
Then, having considered God we can consider our circumstances and give thanks not FOR our circumstances but IN our circumstances. We are not left as orphans (Jn. 14:18). The circumstances do not define God, do not define our lives, nor should they limit our praise. Give thanks always, because even the air we breathe has been lavished upon us."
Friday, March 6, 2009
What are YOU Waiting For? How are you waiting?
My Beloved Blogger Family!
Waiting....should that not be 4 letter word? How many of us at this exact moment are waiting for something? Waiting to get married. Waiting to get the test results back. Waiting for the baby to be delivered. Waiting for our prayers to be answered. Waiting for the stop light to change. (If you're me, that one can be SO irritating!)
The Bible has a lot to say about waiting. I guess the reason for that is that, so often, we want things to move at our pace. We want things when we want them. We live in a "have it your way" society. I think we want God to be a "have it your way" God. We want Him to move in the way we want and in the timing in which we want something to happen. When it doesn't, we become frustrated, angry and, Heaven help us, even resentful.
I will admit to being one of the ones who struggles with waiting. I guess it's those "big" things that I think that I need in my life. Marriage. Family. Children. Six figure income. (Ha! Ok, that one's a BIG joke considering my desires to serve in ministry and non-profit sector.)
Biblical waiting is not just sitting back, kicking your shoes off, and watching life go by hoping that, some day, the things you desire will come to you. Far from it. Waiting is a verb...it implies action. So something has to happen WHILE I'm waiting for those dreams to come true or for my prayers to be answered. I think that God will have much to say about what happened along the journey as we wait.
If you want to hear a great song about this point, please check out the video that's posted here. I found this cd from a new artist, John Waller, almost a year and a half ago, and I fell in love with this song. It's getting a lot of airplay now as a result of the movie "Fireproof". It's all about how I hope God finds me while I'm waiting....
When you consider the things you are wanting to hurry up and happen, reflect on the words from the Prophet Isaiah: "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
While I'm Waiting,
Kara
Waiting....should that not be 4 letter word? How many of us at this exact moment are waiting for something? Waiting to get married. Waiting to get the test results back. Waiting for the baby to be delivered. Waiting for our prayers to be answered. Waiting for the stop light to change. (If you're me, that one can be SO irritating!)
The Bible has a lot to say about waiting. I guess the reason for that is that, so often, we want things to move at our pace. We want things when we want them. We live in a "have it your way" society. I think we want God to be a "have it your way" God. We want Him to move in the way we want and in the timing in which we want something to happen. When it doesn't, we become frustrated, angry and, Heaven help us, even resentful.
I will admit to being one of the ones who struggles with waiting. I guess it's those "big" things that I think that I need in my life. Marriage. Family. Children. Six figure income. (Ha! Ok, that one's a BIG joke considering my desires to serve in ministry and non-profit sector.)
Biblical waiting is not just sitting back, kicking your shoes off, and watching life go by hoping that, some day, the things you desire will come to you. Far from it. Waiting is a verb...it implies action. So something has to happen WHILE I'm waiting for those dreams to come true or for my prayers to be answered. I think that God will have much to say about what happened along the journey as we wait.
If you want to hear a great song about this point, please check out the video that's posted here. I found this cd from a new artist, John Waller, almost a year and a half ago, and I fell in love with this song. It's getting a lot of airplay now as a result of the movie "Fireproof". It's all about how I hope God finds me while I'm waiting....
When you consider the things you are wanting to hurry up and happen, reflect on the words from the Prophet Isaiah: "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
While I'm Waiting,
Kara
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Years
Hey There My Loyal Blog Readers!
Thanks for hanging in there for the past week or so with no posting. I'm sorry, but I have had an experience that has rocked my world...literally! Last Thursday morning around 4AM, I woke up to my world spinning out of control...again, literally! I had a horrible case of vertigo. Lots of fluid behind my ear drums that has affected my balance for a week now. It is not something I'd wish on anyone! Please keep me in your prayers for healing. I'm trusting in His powers to heal, but His timetable is making me wonder! "How about NOW, Lord?"
Anyway, I ran across a quote today that I thought was pretty great, so here it is:
"There are years that ask questions, and years that answer."
I wonder if you've had that experience? I truly believe that 2008 was a year fraught with questions for me in so many areas of life. From my sense of self-worth, to performance and goal expectations, to my relationship with Christ and others, where I fit at Crossroads, how others perceive me and whether I even care about that (or care too much!), this past year was full of questions.
So what will 2009 bring? Well, for one, I am certain I am beginning to get some answers. This past week, I decided it was time to take control of my health. (The truth is, no one else is responsible for this vessel of mine, and while for the past 38 years of my life, I've not treated it as the temple that it is supposed to be, it is finally time to take charge of my health and well-being.) So, I had several appointments at the doctor's office this week, and have been poked and prodded and donated enough blood to keep Dracula happy for a month or so. I had that lovely female exam.....does that ever get easier? Next week, I'll be raising up my offering on to the lovely boob masher machine....gosh I hope that doesn't hurt too much....to have a baseline for future exams. (Those of you who have family history and you're in your mid-late 30s, follow my lead and do the same!) Answers are coming in the areas of health. All is well.
I continue on the path of healing in the mental/emotional/spiritual realms as well. Many answers are coming to light there as well. I've recently had a much-needed series of conversations with a person very important to my past and how I've seen myself over the past 8 years or so. So much guilt and judgment I've placed on myself apparently was not necessary, and the realization of that has been freeing. I have learned that I looked at myself in a VERY negative light and took on responsibility for some things that were not how the other person looked at the situation. Answers are coming.
Anyway, there's SO much I could post here, but I need to get in to work today, so I'm going to stop for now. I encourage you to seek the answers in this year to the questions you've had about your life.
Much Love in the Journey,
Kara
Thanks for hanging in there for the past week or so with no posting. I'm sorry, but I have had an experience that has rocked my world...literally! Last Thursday morning around 4AM, I woke up to my world spinning out of control...again, literally! I had a horrible case of vertigo. Lots of fluid behind my ear drums that has affected my balance for a week now. It is not something I'd wish on anyone! Please keep me in your prayers for healing. I'm trusting in His powers to heal, but His timetable is making me wonder! "How about NOW, Lord?"
Anyway, I ran across a quote today that I thought was pretty great, so here it is:
"There are years that ask questions, and years that answer."
I wonder if you've had that experience? I truly believe that 2008 was a year fraught with questions for me in so many areas of life. From my sense of self-worth, to performance and goal expectations, to my relationship with Christ and others, where I fit at Crossroads, how others perceive me and whether I even care about that (or care too much!), this past year was full of questions.
So what will 2009 bring? Well, for one, I am certain I am beginning to get some answers. This past week, I decided it was time to take control of my health. (The truth is, no one else is responsible for this vessel of mine, and while for the past 38 years of my life, I've not treated it as the temple that it is supposed to be, it is finally time to take charge of my health and well-being.) So, I had several appointments at the doctor's office this week, and have been poked and prodded and donated enough blood to keep Dracula happy for a month or so. I had that lovely female exam.....does that ever get easier? Next week, I'll be raising up my offering on to the lovely boob masher machine....gosh I hope that doesn't hurt too much....to have a baseline for future exams. (Those of you who have family history and you're in your mid-late 30s, follow my lead and do the same!) Answers are coming in the areas of health. All is well.
I continue on the path of healing in the mental/emotional/spiritual realms as well. Many answers are coming to light there as well. I've recently had a much-needed series of conversations with a person very important to my past and how I've seen myself over the past 8 years or so. So much guilt and judgment I've placed on myself apparently was not necessary, and the realization of that has been freeing. I have learned that I looked at myself in a VERY negative light and took on responsibility for some things that were not how the other person looked at the situation. Answers are coming.
Anyway, there's SO much I could post here, but I need to get in to work today, so I'm going to stop for now. I encourage you to seek the answers in this year to the questions you've had about your life.
Much Love in the Journey,
Kara
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