Hello Friends!!
For those of you who aren't single, trust me, you can learn from what I'm about to post as well. I read this article a few days ago, and a portion of it just hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so applicable to life in general, and I just had to share it with you.
But first, an update on me. I'm still at The Arc....wooo hoooo, starting my third week! They still want me, so I'll go for week #4! I'm also still seeing Teresa, and for those of you who've been praying for me on Mondays at 4, take today off! She's out of town! The Tar Heels AND the Panthers are on a winning streak, so football season's off to a great start!!
Today, I am feeling completely grateful to God. My guess is that it's only in retrospect that we can truly look back, understand what He was doing, and rejoice in His provision and his providence, mercy and grace. I can promise you---when He grabs hold of you, leads you out of the pit you may not have realized you were in, and brings you to a higher place, all you can do is fall at His feet and praise Him!! I am blessed to be able to see how He has done this for me in a certain area, and thanks to confirmation and encouragement from a variety of friends, I KNOW that it was His best and His plan for me! Something that I thought would be so painful and difficult has, in fact, turned into a beautiful mosaic designed by my Creator to protect me, comfort me, and take me out of a situation that could have led to heartache instead of a heart pinch. I'll bet most of you have experienced those times, but for me, this is the first time I've ever really been cognizant of His power to intervene in a beautiful way in my life, and I'm SO BLESSED AND GRATEFUL!!! Praise You, Father!!!
Now to what I was reading: It's from (oh gosh, I can't believe I'm admitting this) a book called Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Ok, before ANYone says ANYthing, I didn't read the book, but found this article with a great quote FROM the book...really, I mean it, and if you don't trust me on that, you have trust issues, and you need to get in Life Skills quick!! Hehehe Chad, I got another reference in there!!
Please read this and think of the way it applies in your own life....it doesn't have to do with only singleness!!
Here we go:
"Paul Tripp, author and biblical counselor, explains the pitfalls of this continuum in this way - desire leads to demand, which re-labels itself as a "need" and leads to expectation of fulfillment, which, when unmet, leads to disappointment, and thus ends in punishment. As he writes, "The objects of most of our desires are not evil. The problem is the way they tend to grow, and the control they come to exercise over our hearts. Desires are a part of human existence, but they must be held with an open hand. ... The problem with desire is that in sinners it very quickly morphs into demand ('I must'). Demand is the closing of my fists over a desire. Even though I may be unaware that I have done it, I have left my proper position of submission to God. I have decided that I must have what I have set my heart on and nothing can stand in the way. I am no longer comforted by God's desire for me; I am threatened by it, because God's will potentially stands in the way of my demand. ... There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations."
When I first read that diagnosis (in his book "Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands"), I was stunned. One sentence in particular screamed from the page: "There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations." These are self-induced dings to our hearts! Even more seriously, these acts are seeds we are sowing to future conflict in our own marriages. No husband will meet all of our desires, so we should learn to protect our own hearts and minds in Christ Jesus by not indulging this cycle of idolatry.
((BLOGGER'S INSERT--THIS IS SOOO GOOD!!)) So how do we change? Here's something I've been meditating on over the past year. The secret is in the worth of a woman with noble character. The Bible says she is "more precious than jewels." Jewels aren't out on the store's front counter for every passerby to carelessly handle. Precious jewels are guarded in the vault, and are only brought out for consideration by a buyer who has demonstrated serious intentions and the wherewithal to purchase. Costume jewelry attracts casual inspection - and lots of it - by its cheap presentation. But because it's not seen as valuable, it's not treated as such.
We don't have to put our affections and ourselves on display. We can trust our heavenly Father to ward off the casual shoppers and only bring those with serious intentions to consider us. But you need to know that this will mean some "vault time." While you're in the dark, wondering when - and if - you will have a chance to sparkle for an appreciative buyer, you'll be tested. During this time, keep in mind these three reminders:
* Prayer: Take your petitions to God, for He's the only one who can change a man's heart, and this brings His peace to guard our own hearts.
* Pursuit: It's not our job as women. Instead, we should have the joy of being pursued.
* Prevent Disappointment: Check yourself before you head down the slippery slope of desires, demands and expectations that Paul Tripp outlined. When you find your fist closing over good desires and making them demands, stop. Open that clenched fist and hold that desire up in prayer (see point one again).
We have to be very careful about guarding our own hearts. This is a wisdom issue. More importantly, it's a worship issue. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is not to be able to hand our husbands a relatively unscathed heart on our wedding day, as important as that is. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is to preserve our trusting dependence on God with a peaceful spirit, whether we get married or not. It's to keep a Scriptural imperative: "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
Sooooo, friends, what have I learned?
1. My desire and dream of marriage and family is God-given, and not a bad thing. However, when I left it morph from a desire to a demand and closed my fist around it, God became a threat, because He may not provide my desire. If I choose to submit my desire and my dream to him, with an open hand, He has the ability to potentially place that dream in my hand. He could never do that with a clenched fist!
2. I am a jewel...I'm thinking maybe a really pretty Blue Topaz...it's Carolina blue, you know? But I'm in some serious "Vault Time" right now, locked up and protected until and if God chooses to allow someone to open the vault. But, I now trust Him more than I trust myself to make those decisions...boy, my track record...eeeesh! So, while I'm in the vault, ya'll pray for me and with me...it's kinda dark in here and rather lonely at times. But, I know that I know that I know that HE IS in here with me!! After all, His name is "I AM"!! (Tim Patrick would get a snort and a chuckle out of that one!)
I love ya'll, and remember, this is a journey I'm on, and it will continue for a while. Healing ain't easy, and it isn't always fun, and it hurts quite often, but, ultimately, it will be glorious.
Journeying in the Vault,
Kara
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