Hey Everyone,
I hope you're all enjoying the change of seasons. Autumn is my absolute favorite! I love the fall colors. The oranges, deep reds, golden yellows, etc. The crackle under your feet as you walk on fallen leaves. The nip in the air that brings out the sweaters, sweatshirts, long sleeve jammies and your favorite pair of boots. Knowing that it's the time of year for college football which means that college basketball is right around the corner. (Go Heels!) There is really nothing about Autumn that I don't like!
If you think about what Autumn really is, it's a death. All those blossoms and colorful plants that bloomed in spring and held on through summer (even when we had a drought), have given way to the cold snap. Those beautiful fall-colored leaves are dying as they share their last burst of color before falling off the tree and covering the ground.
Though the winter days are barren, save for the green of the pine needles on so many of our trees in North Carolina, this death signals a hope for new birth and growth. We know that, just as Autumn signals death, Spring brings with it rebirth. In just a few short months, after we've endured the harsh blasts of cold air and snow, tiny green shoots will rise up through the ground, new leaves will begin to form on the trees, and soon, Spring will be alive with new birth.
Two thousand years ago, a tiny baby was born, so we're told in "the bleak mid-winter" (isn't there a Christmas carol about that?). Jesus was born to a virgin girl in order to live to die. He grew up with the help of an earthly mother and father and a Heavenly Father that allowed Him to become fully human and while still being fully divine. During the spring of his life, he worked with his father, Joseph, as a carpenter. He watched his mother, Mary, go about her duties taking care of her home, loving and nurturing her children. He sat at the feet of teachers of the Law, all the while being the fulfillment of the Law in human form. The spring of Jesus' life was the time he grew into adulthood and learned all the things we, as humans, experience. The joys, the trials, the pains, the laughter, the fears, the loneliness. Jesus, during the spring of his life, felt and experienced life on this earth that He watched being spoken into existence.
As Spring turned to Summer, Jesus began to take on His role as teacher and to share with others the love His Heavenly Father has for our fallen world. There were miracles, disciples, Pharisees, traitors, demons, parables, children, followers, detractors, mockers and devoted believers. As Jesus and His followers traversed the rugged terrain to share the message of God's love, Summer's heat began to bear down on them. He was challenged, criticized, mocked and called a blasphemer. The people who criticized could not see that the person they despised was Love come to earth. The scorching heat of summer led to a shocking betrayal by one of His closest followers as Autumn's death began to beckon.
Autumn, just as it must for flowers and leaves, turned deadly for Jesus. He was sentenced to death in order to take on the sins of mankind and serve as payment for the wages of sin and death that each of us so rightly deserve. As Jesus willingly chose to die on the cross and to fulfill His purpose in coming to earth, Autumn came to an end with the death of Jesus. But there was now such good news! Never again would man have to face his own Autumn with no hope of Spring to come.
As you look at the last remnants of fall colors in the leaves, yes, there is death occurring. But, close your eyes, and picture the Spring. For it is surely coming.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecc. 3:1
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Wisdom of General Patton
"Don't measure a man by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom."
Recalls to mind that Scripture from Micah that I so love now: "Do not gloat over me my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."
Do good things,
Kara
Recalls to mind that Scripture from Micah that I so love now: "Do not gloat over me my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light."
Do good things,
Kara
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Come Together, Right Now
Hello Everyone!!
I hope you're all enjoying a relatively quiet few days, now that the election is over. No more negative campaign ads, lots less yard signs congesting the highways, and life can resume some sense of normalcy.
In case you're wondering, Mom won!! YAYYYYYY!!! She was the only Democrat in Cabarrus County to win her campaign. YAAAAYYYY!!!! I am so proud of her! In a county that is totally red for the most part, at least one result turned the county BLUE!! (I like to think of it in terms of a shade of Carolina blue!)
Based on my last post where I decided I was going to put my trust in God, and rest in the fact that He establishes His leaders, you might would have thought that I would have been at peace and restful the day of the election and that awaiting the returns would have been a cake walk.
Well, if you think that, you'd be wrong! On election night, I was given a beautiful example of how my thought process can develop into panic and anxiety. I was stressed out all day, quite snippy in some of my comments, and just in a worried state the whole day. What I SHOULD have done with that worry was take it and pray over it, speak words of encouragement and life over myself, and remind myself that I can trust God that His will would be perfect for this situation and any others that I came into contact that night.
I should have, but I admit that I did not. By the time our family made it to Troutman's to watch the returns, I was really keyed up. It didn't help that I received a phone call from an ex-boyfriend whose name will remain unspoken who said when I answered, "SO...are you a nervous wreck yet?" Well, I should have risen up and rebuked those words!!
I should have, but I admit that, unfortunately, I did not. I focused on them, and it did not help matters much at all. I went into the restaurant, and no less than 5 minutes later, my stomach was a literal wreck. I was feeling sick and went to the bathroom, and the panic really began to set in. I had to leave; I just had to. My dad, bless his heart, drove me to my house (about 5 minutes away). I was speaking all kinds of reallly crappy stuff about myself: "I am a total disappointment to you guys." "I can't do anything right." "I should never have come." "I've just let everyone down." (If you're in Lifeskills or have taken it, you should be thinking arrested development and shame spiral right about now. If you're not or never have been in Lifeskills, YOU SHOULD TAKE IT!! Shout out to the Cozads!)
My dad, again bless his heart, said, "Nope. We're gonna get you home. You can be sick at home and then, we're gonna go back to Troutman's." Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't think that was going to happen. But, and here's where I will choose to celebrate some victory, I spent about 45 minutes at home (and glad I did...I love my bathroom!), and then I got into the car and we went back to Troutman's where we stayed until more than half the returns were in!! YAYYYY for me!!
I choose to celebrate the small victories these days. What seems like such a non-important thing to many, going back to a restaurant after leaving, is for me a victory. Instead of giving into the fear, I began to think positive thoughts and remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (I even sang the FAM JAM song!), and I made it!! It wasn't the ideal night, nor was it the way I would have wanted it to be, and I'm sure it wasn't what my mom had envisioned as her last night of election returns on the ballot, but it was a small victory for me and a HUGE V-I-C-T-O-R-Y for mom!!
Now, I'd like to share a bit of my own personal perspective about the Presidential race. Many of you know that, yes, I'm a Democrat. So, now I feel free to say that, yes, I voted for President-elect Obama. I chose him back during the primary while Hillary was still the front-runner for the Dems. I've wrestled with some issues that he brings to the table, but in the end, I believe that he has the ability to bring this country together and will help to re-establish our place among the nations of the world. But that's not really what I want to share.
What I feel so impressed to share with you, my faithful readers, is that to quote 3rd Day, "We've got to come together"....it is our responsibility as Americans, whether we voted for the person elected or not, to support our President. We should pray for him, his family, the people he places around him to advise him, the members of his Cabinet, etc. My guess is that I am EXTREMELY outnumbered at my church in my vote for President, and that's totally ok. I didn't vote for President Bush; however, I did pray for him. Our system of democracy is the best thing going. If we believe that God ordains His leaders, then Barack Obama was His choice for our President at this time. I believe that is reason enough for us to join together, as Americans and as Christians to pray for a fellow Christian who will soon be entrusted with the most difficult and most powerful position on earth.
Off my soapbox now....
I hope you're all enjoying a relatively quiet few days, now that the election is over. No more negative campaign ads, lots less yard signs congesting the highways, and life can resume some sense of normalcy.
In case you're wondering, Mom won!! YAYYYYYY!!! She was the only Democrat in Cabarrus County to win her campaign. YAAAAYYYY!!!! I am so proud of her! In a county that is totally red for the most part, at least one result turned the county BLUE!! (I like to think of it in terms of a shade of Carolina blue!)
Based on my last post where I decided I was going to put my trust in God, and rest in the fact that He establishes His leaders, you might would have thought that I would have been at peace and restful the day of the election and that awaiting the returns would have been a cake walk.
Well, if you think that, you'd be wrong! On election night, I was given a beautiful example of how my thought process can develop into panic and anxiety. I was stressed out all day, quite snippy in some of my comments, and just in a worried state the whole day. What I SHOULD have done with that worry was take it and pray over it, speak words of encouragement and life over myself, and remind myself that I can trust God that His will would be perfect for this situation and any others that I came into contact that night.
I should have, but I admit that I did not. By the time our family made it to Troutman's to watch the returns, I was really keyed up. It didn't help that I received a phone call from an ex-boyfriend whose name will remain unspoken who said when I answered, "SO...are you a nervous wreck yet?" Well, I should have risen up and rebuked those words!!
I should have, but I admit that, unfortunately, I did not. I focused on them, and it did not help matters much at all. I went into the restaurant, and no less than 5 minutes later, my stomach was a literal wreck. I was feeling sick and went to the bathroom, and the panic really began to set in. I had to leave; I just had to. My dad, bless his heart, drove me to my house (about 5 minutes away). I was speaking all kinds of reallly crappy stuff about myself: "I am a total disappointment to you guys." "I can't do anything right." "I should never have come." "I've just let everyone down." (If you're in Lifeskills or have taken it, you should be thinking arrested development and shame spiral right about now. If you're not or never have been in Lifeskills, YOU SHOULD TAKE IT!! Shout out to the Cozads!)
My dad, again bless his heart, said, "Nope. We're gonna get you home. You can be sick at home and then, we're gonna go back to Troutman's." Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't think that was going to happen. But, and here's where I will choose to celebrate some victory, I spent about 45 minutes at home (and glad I did...I love my bathroom!), and then I got into the car and we went back to Troutman's where we stayed until more than half the returns were in!! YAYYYY for me!!
I choose to celebrate the small victories these days. What seems like such a non-important thing to many, going back to a restaurant after leaving, is for me a victory. Instead of giving into the fear, I began to think positive thoughts and remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (I even sang the FAM JAM song!), and I made it!! It wasn't the ideal night, nor was it the way I would have wanted it to be, and I'm sure it wasn't what my mom had envisioned as her last night of election returns on the ballot, but it was a small victory for me and a HUGE V-I-C-T-O-R-Y for mom!!
Now, I'd like to share a bit of my own personal perspective about the Presidential race. Many of you know that, yes, I'm a Democrat. So, now I feel free to say that, yes, I voted for President-elect Obama. I chose him back during the primary while Hillary was still the front-runner for the Dems. I've wrestled with some issues that he brings to the table, but in the end, I believe that he has the ability to bring this country together and will help to re-establish our place among the nations of the world. But that's not really what I want to share.
What I feel so impressed to share with you, my faithful readers, is that to quote 3rd Day, "We've got to come together"....it is our responsibility as Americans, whether we voted for the person elected or not, to support our President. We should pray for him, his family, the people he places around him to advise him, the members of his Cabinet, etc. My guess is that I am EXTREMELY outnumbered at my church in my vote for President, and that's totally ok. I didn't vote for President Bush; however, I did pray for him. Our system of democracy is the best thing going. If we believe that God ordains His leaders, then Barack Obama was His choice for our President at this time. I believe that is reason enough for us to join together, as Americans and as Christians to pray for a fellow Christian who will soon be entrusted with the most difficult and most powerful position on earth.
Off my soapbox now....
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Two Weeks & Countin'
Hey Everyone!!
Well, I'm sure by now that you're just like me...exhausted with the constant barrage of political advertisements that are splattered across the television, radio and newspapers. It seems like everywhere we go, we see an Obama this, or a McCain that. Now the campaign yard signs are strewn along the highways and byways. Is it just me, or are you ready for it to be O-V-E-R? That'd be over!!
I'm sure all of you know that my mom is an elected official. What you may not know is that means that I basically run the campaign. I'm also the treasurer of her campaign. So whether it's advertising strategy, fundraising, writing letters, desiging logos, bulk mail, reports, ordering all sorts of things, speaking at various events, coordinating calendars, etc., that's my game. Now there's nobody on the planet better at putting out yard signs than my dad...he's got that covered, and he is GOOD at it!!
But, I have to tell you, all this craziness is about to catch up with me!! I used to love working campaigns from the Presidential races down to local races, I loved them all. Quite frankly, I'm really good at it, too. But something changes when it's your own family member's name on the ballot. It takes on a whole different level of urgency, especially when that family member's career is determined by the outcome of an election!!
I was sitting in a Life Skills class several months ago, no I'm not going to tell you that you should enroll, you should know that by now!! Anyway, we were in class the day that filing for office ended at noon on a Friday. Up until 30 minutes before the deadline, mom had no opposition, and believe me, that would have been fierce!! But, I got a call from mom that someone had filed, and I started to cry. I'll never forget Tammy asking why that upset me so much, and I made this statement: "Because I'm good at politics, and if I lose, I don't know what I'll do." Did you notice anything in there? WHOSE name is on the ballot?? "If I lose".....don't go to the polls on November 4th thinkin' you're going to see "Kara McAbee" by any job title!! Well, the ladies in the group basically called me on the proverbial carpet on ownership of something that's not really mine to take. (I'm sure this goes to Life Commandments, shame, or something....might need a refresher course here, Chad!!)
This whole topic came up once again in session a few weeks ago with Teresa, when she shared some Earth-shattering news with me (and I'm still having a hard time processing this): I am not in control of the outcome of the election!! Excuse me? What?? Really?? I don't control the voting positions of thousands of people in Cabarrus County? HUH???
So, Teresa and I will soon be focusing on my proclivity to take on far too much responsibility for things that are out of my control. I'm wondering about this....you know, I really do believe that it's very important just where I sit when watching a Carolina-Duke basketball game....I do think that I affect that outcome. (I'm teasing ya'll.....I can really only swing about 12 points that way!)
I really wish that knowing that I don't control the outcomes of elections, whether my mom's on the ballot or not, could relieve me of the stress and the pressure I feel, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't. I've promised each of you to be truthful as I share in the blog, so here it is: I'm stressed out, a bit worried, and not handling all this well at times. Then, there are times I enjoy the heck out of what I'm doing, but I just can't wait for this to be over. God and I are still working out me being ok with the outcome that He chooses, regardless of what it is....we're still having some MAAAjor talks on that one!!!
Isn't it cool the things we continue to learn about ourselves as we open our lives to the work of the Holy Spirit? Soooo cool!!
So, here's the Scripture that I'm plastering on my forehead for the next two weeks: "..there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." Romans 13:1 (I'm pretty sure that didn't mention Kara in there??)
Do great things, ya'll,
Kara
Well, I'm sure by now that you're just like me...exhausted with the constant barrage of political advertisements that are splattered across the television, radio and newspapers. It seems like everywhere we go, we see an Obama this, or a McCain that. Now the campaign yard signs are strewn along the highways and byways. Is it just me, or are you ready for it to be O-V-E-R? That'd be over!!
I'm sure all of you know that my mom is an elected official. What you may not know is that means that I basically run the campaign. I'm also the treasurer of her campaign. So whether it's advertising strategy, fundraising, writing letters, desiging logos, bulk mail, reports, ordering all sorts of things, speaking at various events, coordinating calendars, etc., that's my game. Now there's nobody on the planet better at putting out yard signs than my dad...he's got that covered, and he is GOOD at it!!
But, I have to tell you, all this craziness is about to catch up with me!! I used to love working campaigns from the Presidential races down to local races, I loved them all. Quite frankly, I'm really good at it, too. But something changes when it's your own family member's name on the ballot. It takes on a whole different level of urgency, especially when that family member's career is determined by the outcome of an election!!
I was sitting in a Life Skills class several months ago, no I'm not going to tell you that you should enroll, you should know that by now!! Anyway, we were in class the day that filing for office ended at noon on a Friday. Up until 30 minutes before the deadline, mom had no opposition, and believe me, that would have been fierce!! But, I got a call from mom that someone had filed, and I started to cry. I'll never forget Tammy asking why that upset me so much, and I made this statement: "Because I'm good at politics, and if I lose, I don't know what I'll do." Did you notice anything in there? WHOSE name is on the ballot?? "If I lose".....don't go to the polls on November 4th thinkin' you're going to see "Kara McAbee" by any job title!! Well, the ladies in the group basically called me on the proverbial carpet on ownership of something that's not really mine to take. (I'm sure this goes to Life Commandments, shame, or something....might need a refresher course here, Chad!!)
This whole topic came up once again in session a few weeks ago with Teresa, when she shared some Earth-shattering news with me (and I'm still having a hard time processing this): I am not in control of the outcome of the election!! Excuse me? What?? Really?? I don't control the voting positions of thousands of people in Cabarrus County? HUH???
So, Teresa and I will soon be focusing on my proclivity to take on far too much responsibility for things that are out of my control. I'm wondering about this....you know, I really do believe that it's very important just where I sit when watching a Carolina-Duke basketball game....I do think that I affect that outcome. (I'm teasing ya'll.....I can really only swing about 12 points that way!)
I really wish that knowing that I don't control the outcomes of elections, whether my mom's on the ballot or not, could relieve me of the stress and the pressure I feel, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't. I've promised each of you to be truthful as I share in the blog, so here it is: I'm stressed out, a bit worried, and not handling all this well at times. Then, there are times I enjoy the heck out of what I'm doing, but I just can't wait for this to be over. God and I are still working out me being ok with the outcome that He chooses, regardless of what it is....we're still having some MAAAjor talks on that one!!!
Isn't it cool the things we continue to learn about ourselves as we open our lives to the work of the Holy Spirit? Soooo cool!!
So, here's the Scripture that I'm plastering on my forehead for the next two weeks: "..there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." Romans 13:1 (I'm pretty sure that didn't mention Kara in there??)
Do great things, ya'll,
Kara
Friday, October 10, 2008
Making a Mess out of the Message
Hi Everyone,
I recently heard a conversation on The View between Robin Roberts and the ladies about her breast cancer diagnosis. One of her life lessons is that you can always "Make your mess your message."
I think that has significant impact for each of us. Without doubt, each of us goes through trials and tribulations in this life. Whether it's a cancer diagnosis, a divorce, the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or panic and anxiety attacks, we are each given an opportunity to turn our tests into our testimony.
I've been thinking about that "mess into a message" comment a lot the past few days. I wonder how many times I've managed to turn the message into a mess? Have I lost opportunities to share my story? Have I forgotten to give praise for the storms? Do my actions, my sins, my failures turn the possibility of using the message of my life into nothing more than a huge mess? Is it possible to turn the message into a mess?
I'll be honest; I've really been struggling lately. I have had some great weeks that have had successes in them. I've gone out in public to some restaurants and not run out after the first five minutes. I've gone to a meeting at a restaurant and stayed several hours and was the last to leave. Even made it to the grocery store to stock up on what I needed to make a yummy veggie beef soup for my parents a few weekends ago. Counseling with Teresa has been wonderful; we've really touched on a lot of stuff, starting that healing process that I've so needed. I've felt so good about myself and how things have been going.
This past Monday was a great day. Mom and I did a TON of campaign travelling and errands. It was just such a wonderful day. I got home around 1 and decided to run out to the grocery store to pick up a few things when the bottom dropped out. I was in the store with a few things in hand, realized I wasn't breathing well, started feeling like my legs were going out from under me and knew what was happening. I threw the food on a table (sorry MP Food Lion) and tried to get out as quickly as I could, while grabbing for my cell phone to try and call Mom (Thank God she answered), and get to my phone. I had to get out of there....panic attack waiting to happen. When I got to the car, I noticed my hands were trembling like crazy. Luckily, my grandmother lives only about a minute from the Food Lion, so I headed to her house to lay down and try and get out of the panic.
I made it there, and she gave me some water, and I laid down. I will say that, with some time, I was able to talk myself down, so I don't think I had a "full blown" panic attack, although I was really scared. I knew I couldn't drive well, so Mom came and got me. We stayed at my grandmother's house a few hours and just rested, talked and got a bite to eat. In time, I was able to drive to my house. Then, Mom drove me to Teresa's and we had a great session. We talked about a few things that may have led to what happened.
The scary thing is just that this happens completely out of the blue; no warning. That's what makes me want to cry--there's such a helpless feeling in realizing that your body might attack you just out of the blue....you can be in the car, a restaurant, at home, or obviously at the Food Lion.
So, does this example of going back to having another attack make a mess of my message? I hope not. Maybe it just serves to show me that I'm not as healed or as far along as I would like to be. Teresa has encouraged me to continue to just accept that "I am where I am". She sees a lot of work being done, a lot of healing, and she said that I'm on the "fast track". Too funny---I feel like at times that I'm never going to come out of this; still struggle with times where I'd just like to cave in.
But if we have to walk through the mess to have the message and if we have to go through the tests to have the testimony, I guess I will begin the process of accepting that this is my mess and my test.
This leads to you...those faithful readers and people that I love: please continue your prayers. Don't forget about me!! I'm still here and I still need you. Your words of encouragement and comfort mean so so much to me.
Please pray over the next few weeks in particular for peace during the last weeks of the election cycle. There's so much to do, so much unnecessary responsibility I place on myself, and so much that I'm trying to learn about not defining my self-worth on my accomplishments (or failures). This is just a really rough time to be learning all these life lessons. So please keep me in your prayers as I seek God's leading and guidance for my life as well.
I love you all,
Kara
I recently heard a conversation on The View between Robin Roberts and the ladies about her breast cancer diagnosis. One of her life lessons is that you can always "Make your mess your message."
I think that has significant impact for each of us. Without doubt, each of us goes through trials and tribulations in this life. Whether it's a cancer diagnosis, a divorce, the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or panic and anxiety attacks, we are each given an opportunity to turn our tests into our testimony.
I've been thinking about that "mess into a message" comment a lot the past few days. I wonder how many times I've managed to turn the message into a mess? Have I lost opportunities to share my story? Have I forgotten to give praise for the storms? Do my actions, my sins, my failures turn the possibility of using the message of my life into nothing more than a huge mess? Is it possible to turn the message into a mess?
I'll be honest; I've really been struggling lately. I have had some great weeks that have had successes in them. I've gone out in public to some restaurants and not run out after the first five minutes. I've gone to a meeting at a restaurant and stayed several hours and was the last to leave. Even made it to the grocery store to stock up on what I needed to make a yummy veggie beef soup for my parents a few weekends ago. Counseling with Teresa has been wonderful; we've really touched on a lot of stuff, starting that healing process that I've so needed. I've felt so good about myself and how things have been going.
This past Monday was a great day. Mom and I did a TON of campaign travelling and errands. It was just such a wonderful day. I got home around 1 and decided to run out to the grocery store to pick up a few things when the bottom dropped out. I was in the store with a few things in hand, realized I wasn't breathing well, started feeling like my legs were going out from under me and knew what was happening. I threw the food on a table (sorry MP Food Lion) and tried to get out as quickly as I could, while grabbing for my cell phone to try and call Mom (Thank God she answered), and get to my phone. I had to get out of there....panic attack waiting to happen. When I got to the car, I noticed my hands were trembling like crazy. Luckily, my grandmother lives only about a minute from the Food Lion, so I headed to her house to lay down and try and get out of the panic.
I made it there, and she gave me some water, and I laid down. I will say that, with some time, I was able to talk myself down, so I don't think I had a "full blown" panic attack, although I was really scared. I knew I couldn't drive well, so Mom came and got me. We stayed at my grandmother's house a few hours and just rested, talked and got a bite to eat. In time, I was able to drive to my house. Then, Mom drove me to Teresa's and we had a great session. We talked about a few things that may have led to what happened.
The scary thing is just that this happens completely out of the blue; no warning. That's what makes me want to cry--there's such a helpless feeling in realizing that your body might attack you just out of the blue....you can be in the car, a restaurant, at home, or obviously at the Food Lion.
So, does this example of going back to having another attack make a mess of my message? I hope not. Maybe it just serves to show me that I'm not as healed or as far along as I would like to be. Teresa has encouraged me to continue to just accept that "I am where I am". She sees a lot of work being done, a lot of healing, and she said that I'm on the "fast track". Too funny---I feel like at times that I'm never going to come out of this; still struggle with times where I'd just like to cave in.
But if we have to walk through the mess to have the message and if we have to go through the tests to have the testimony, I guess I will begin the process of accepting that this is my mess and my test.
This leads to you...those faithful readers and people that I love: please continue your prayers. Don't forget about me!! I'm still here and I still need you. Your words of encouragement and comfort mean so so much to me.
Please pray over the next few weeks in particular for peace during the last weeks of the election cycle. There's so much to do, so much unnecessary responsibility I place on myself, and so much that I'm trying to learn about not defining my self-worth on my accomplishments (or failures). This is just a really rough time to be learning all these life lessons. So please keep me in your prayers as I seek God's leading and guidance for my life as well.
I love you all,
Kara
Friday, September 19, 2008
Random Thought...Shout out to Steak and Shake!
Ok, so this is a weird thing. One of those random thoughts that hit you every now and again, and though it has no redeeming value whatsoever in my journey towards healing and restoration, it's just a cool thing! So, I'm sharing it!!
I went to grab a kids' meal at Steak and Shake and ordered my usual large Sprite. For those of you who don't know, Sprites don't have caffeine in them, and for someone who is predisposed to being a bit jumpy and nervous, you don't need the extra caffeiene! After placing my order, I noticed on the sign that they serve, "No! It can't be!! Is it? It really is!!"....CAFFEINE FREE DIET COKE!! WOOOO HOOOOOO!!
That's the first drive in or restaurant that I've seen that carries a caffeine free drink other than a Sprite or something like that. So, like I said, nothing of huge significance, but Yayyyy Steak & Shake!!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
"Reminiscing"....Anyone Remember who Sang That?
Hey Everyone,
I just sent an email to a friend, encouraging him to read my blog from beginning to end, so I decided that it might be time that I do so myself. It's been about 3 months since I started this beautiful blog, and I thought I'd do a bit of reminiscing.
In my second post, I found it. I called myself a victim. A victim of childhood sexual abuse, and it hit me like a lead balloon. So, it's time to change my verbage. I am NOT a victim....I am a SURVIVOR!! Something happened to me as a child that I did not choose, but as an adult, I DO get to choose how I look at the experiences of my life.
NO LONGER will I choose to define myself as a victim. That implies helplessness, and for goodness' sakes, I'm 37 years old, so I am far from helpless. For those of you who are on this same path with me, you will understand that something inside of you will feel forever damaged, scarred and weary. But by no means helpless.
If "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", then that is the very antithesis of the word helpless or victim. I am a survivor....oh gosh, now I hear Beyonce singin' in my ears. Now if I could look like her........wow.....and now I'm hearing a song from The Man of La Mancha that Don Quixote sang..."To dream the impossible dream"....
Do Good Things,
Kara
I just sent an email to a friend, encouraging him to read my blog from beginning to end, so I decided that it might be time that I do so myself. It's been about 3 months since I started this beautiful blog, and I thought I'd do a bit of reminiscing.
In my second post, I found it. I called myself a victim. A victim of childhood sexual abuse, and it hit me like a lead balloon. So, it's time to change my verbage. I am NOT a victim....I am a SURVIVOR!! Something happened to me as a child that I did not choose, but as an adult, I DO get to choose how I look at the experiences of my life.
NO LONGER will I choose to define myself as a victim. That implies helplessness, and for goodness' sakes, I'm 37 years old, so I am far from helpless. For those of you who are on this same path with me, you will understand that something inside of you will feel forever damaged, scarred and weary. But by no means helpless.
If "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", then that is the very antithesis of the word helpless or victim. I am a survivor....oh gosh, now I hear Beyonce singin' in my ears. Now if I could look like her........wow.....and now I'm hearing a song from The Man of La Mancha that Don Quixote sang..."To dream the impossible dream"....
Do Good Things,
Kara
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
A Return Visit to The Shack
Hey Everyone!
I'm sharing a copy of The Shack with a friend at work, and it got me thinking about some of the lessons I learned in reading the book, and I want to share them with you. As you know, I've been battling panic attacks and fear/worry/etc. since college. Truth be told, you can wade back into the inner recesses of my life, way back into childhood, and see times that I allowed fear to keep me from doing things in elementary school, so I guess fear has been like a constant companion my entire life. As God is healing me and teaching me during this season, I truly believe that He used The Shack to teach me a few more lessons. If you haven't read the book, please, please go buy a copy (and get one for a friend who needs to read the truths included as well).
This is Papa (God) talking to the main character, Mack. This SO applies to my life and I'll share how after the quote.
"When I dwell with you, I do so in the present--I live in the present. Not the past, although much can be remembered and learned by looking back, but only for a visit, not an extended stay. And for sure, I do not dwell in the future you visualize or imagine. Mack, do you realize that your imagination of the future, which is almost always dictated by fear of some kind, rarely, if ever, pictures me there with you?"
Well, everyone, that defines a panic attack just waiting to happen. When I spend so much of my time imagining the future, what will come, what might happen, etc., I am imagining a future without God. We're told in Scripture that He never leaves us or forsakes us. We're told He knows the plans He has for our future, and that they are for our good. We're told to be strong and courageous. We're even told that He goes before us to fight our battles FOR us!!
I think what Papa is trying to encourage Mack, and each of us as readers, is to remember that when we move into worrying about "what if", we need to remember that, even in the midst of the worst "what ifs" we can imagine, GOD IS WITH US!! Ya'll, I have spent so many moments worried about what might happen. I've cried buckets and buckets of tears thinking about what could happen, but Papa is right, I never pictured Jesus walking with me through the "what if". If He's right there with me, what have I to fear? His presence, living and active and within me is what brings comfort and peace to my mind and my heart. Now, for a little bit more of The Shack:
"Why do I do that?" asked Mack. "It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can't. It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn't even real, nor will it ever be real. You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear."
I stand guilty of those charges! In my fear, I've tried to gain control over the thing that I fear. Can we have control over the future? We may think we can. Oh my goodness the things I've avoided doing, for fear of something happening that probably never would. Most of you know how much I don't like to travel anymore, especially on Interstates. I fear a wreck happening up ahead of me and being stuck in hours of traffic with no escape. Now, yes, that's an actual thing that could and does happen, but never once has it happened to me (great, now that I've typed it, look out!). But I have avoided concerts, ball games, trips to the beach, trips to the mountains, etc. all because I've tried to avoid what I fear coming true. I think I might just go "cave in" right now...that's so depressing to type and look at, but it's my truth. (Remember, I promised to be truthful, even if it was ugly.) Back to The Shack:
"So why do I have so much fear in my life?" "Because you don't believe. You don't know that we (the Trinity) love you. The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it; you talk about it, but you don't know it."
This journey, the past three months, has been so painful. God's been doing some major excavation work on my heart, my mind, and my spirit. It's felt like taking a great big bulldozer, reaching down into the depths of Kara, and pulling up tons of messy stuff. Not easy, but oh so needed. When I read that paragraph, it made me cry. I am one of the ones who has sung about God's love for the bulk of my life. I've even taught children how much He loves them. I've ministered to friends who've called at all hours of the night crying and hurting. I've witnessed to strangers in homeless shelters, online, etc., but the one person who needed to "know it" more than any other has been myself. And the truth is, I've never KNOWN it.
Praise God that I believe the past few months has been His way of getting my attention and allowing me to learn more about the amazing depths of love that He has for me. The hardest thing has been to believe that I'm "worth it". So many of my single friends have heard me say that all I'm looking for is just that one amazing man who thinks I'm "worth it". Well guess what? I met him when I was a little girl in the Sunday School classes at MPUMC. His name is Jesus, and He thinks I'm so "worth it" that He died to save me from an eternal separation from His very own Papa.
This isn't necessarily a witnessing tool, at least not that I've ever thought about, but if you don't know my Papa, I'd encourage you to reach out to someone who does and ask about Him. His love is immense. It is eternal, and it is so radical. I'm just now starting to understand it, and to believe that I'm worth it.
Discovering My Worth While in the Vault,
Kara
I'm sharing a copy of The Shack with a friend at work, and it got me thinking about some of the lessons I learned in reading the book, and I want to share them with you. As you know, I've been battling panic attacks and fear/worry/etc. since college. Truth be told, you can wade back into the inner recesses of my life, way back into childhood, and see times that I allowed fear to keep me from doing things in elementary school, so I guess fear has been like a constant companion my entire life. As God is healing me and teaching me during this season, I truly believe that He used The Shack to teach me a few more lessons. If you haven't read the book, please, please go buy a copy (and get one for a friend who needs to read the truths included as well).
This is Papa (God) talking to the main character, Mack. This SO applies to my life and I'll share how after the quote.
"When I dwell with you, I do so in the present--I live in the present. Not the past, although much can be remembered and learned by looking back, but only for a visit, not an extended stay. And for sure, I do not dwell in the future you visualize or imagine. Mack, do you realize that your imagination of the future, which is almost always dictated by fear of some kind, rarely, if ever, pictures me there with you?"
Well, everyone, that defines a panic attack just waiting to happen. When I spend so much of my time imagining the future, what will come, what might happen, etc., I am imagining a future without God. We're told in Scripture that He never leaves us or forsakes us. We're told He knows the plans He has for our future, and that they are for our good. We're told to be strong and courageous. We're even told that He goes before us to fight our battles FOR us!!
I think what Papa is trying to encourage Mack, and each of us as readers, is to remember that when we move into worrying about "what if", we need to remember that, even in the midst of the worst "what ifs" we can imagine, GOD IS WITH US!! Ya'll, I have spent so many moments worried about what might happen. I've cried buckets and buckets of tears thinking about what could happen, but Papa is right, I never pictured Jesus walking with me through the "what if". If He's right there with me, what have I to fear? His presence, living and active and within me is what brings comfort and peace to my mind and my heart. Now, for a little bit more of The Shack:
"Why do I do that?" asked Mack. "It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can't. It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn't even real, nor will it ever be real. You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear."
I stand guilty of those charges! In my fear, I've tried to gain control over the thing that I fear. Can we have control over the future? We may think we can. Oh my goodness the things I've avoided doing, for fear of something happening that probably never would. Most of you know how much I don't like to travel anymore, especially on Interstates. I fear a wreck happening up ahead of me and being stuck in hours of traffic with no escape. Now, yes, that's an actual thing that could and does happen, but never once has it happened to me (great, now that I've typed it, look out!). But I have avoided concerts, ball games, trips to the beach, trips to the mountains, etc. all because I've tried to avoid what I fear coming true. I think I might just go "cave in" right now...that's so depressing to type and look at, but it's my truth. (Remember, I promised to be truthful, even if it was ugly.) Back to The Shack:
"So why do I have so much fear in my life?" "Because you don't believe. You don't know that we (the Trinity) love you. The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it; you talk about it, but you don't know it."
This journey, the past three months, has been so painful. God's been doing some major excavation work on my heart, my mind, and my spirit. It's felt like taking a great big bulldozer, reaching down into the depths of Kara, and pulling up tons of messy stuff. Not easy, but oh so needed. When I read that paragraph, it made me cry. I am one of the ones who has sung about God's love for the bulk of my life. I've even taught children how much He loves them. I've ministered to friends who've called at all hours of the night crying and hurting. I've witnessed to strangers in homeless shelters, online, etc., but the one person who needed to "know it" more than any other has been myself. And the truth is, I've never KNOWN it.
Praise God that I believe the past few months has been His way of getting my attention and allowing me to learn more about the amazing depths of love that He has for me. The hardest thing has been to believe that I'm "worth it". So many of my single friends have heard me say that all I'm looking for is just that one amazing man who thinks I'm "worth it". Well guess what? I met him when I was a little girl in the Sunday School classes at MPUMC. His name is Jesus, and He thinks I'm so "worth it" that He died to save me from an eternal separation from His very own Papa.
This isn't necessarily a witnessing tool, at least not that I've ever thought about, but if you don't know my Papa, I'd encourage you to reach out to someone who does and ask about Him. His love is immense. It is eternal, and it is so radical. I'm just now starting to understand it, and to believe that I'm worth it.
Discovering My Worth While in the Vault,
Kara
Monday, September 15, 2008
Hmmm...I Need a Jewel Song Today....
Hello Friends!!
For those of you who aren't single, trust me, you can learn from what I'm about to post as well. I read this article a few days ago, and a portion of it just hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so applicable to life in general, and I just had to share it with you.
But first, an update on me. I'm still at The Arc....wooo hoooo, starting my third week! They still want me, so I'll go for week #4! I'm also still seeing Teresa, and for those of you who've been praying for me on Mondays at 4, take today off! She's out of town! The Tar Heels AND the Panthers are on a winning streak, so football season's off to a great start!!
Today, I am feeling completely grateful to God. My guess is that it's only in retrospect that we can truly look back, understand what He was doing, and rejoice in His provision and his providence, mercy and grace. I can promise you---when He grabs hold of you, leads you out of the pit you may not have realized you were in, and brings you to a higher place, all you can do is fall at His feet and praise Him!! I am blessed to be able to see how He has done this for me in a certain area, and thanks to confirmation and encouragement from a variety of friends, I KNOW that it was His best and His plan for me! Something that I thought would be so painful and difficult has, in fact, turned into a beautiful mosaic designed by my Creator to protect me, comfort me, and take me out of a situation that could have led to heartache instead of a heart pinch. I'll bet most of you have experienced those times, but for me, this is the first time I've ever really been cognizant of His power to intervene in a beautiful way in my life, and I'm SO BLESSED AND GRATEFUL!!! Praise You, Father!!!
Now to what I was reading: It's from (oh gosh, I can't believe I'm admitting this) a book called Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Ok, before ANYone says ANYthing, I didn't read the book, but found this article with a great quote FROM the book...really, I mean it, and if you don't trust me on that, you have trust issues, and you need to get in Life Skills quick!! Hehehe Chad, I got another reference in there!!
Please read this and think of the way it applies in your own life....it doesn't have to do with only singleness!!
Here we go:
"Paul Tripp, author and biblical counselor, explains the pitfalls of this continuum in this way - desire leads to demand, which re-labels itself as a "need" and leads to expectation of fulfillment, which, when unmet, leads to disappointment, and thus ends in punishment. As he writes, "The objects of most of our desires are not evil. The problem is the way they tend to grow, and the control they come to exercise over our hearts. Desires are a part of human existence, but they must be held with an open hand. ... The problem with desire is that in sinners it very quickly morphs into demand ('I must'). Demand is the closing of my fists over a desire. Even though I may be unaware that I have done it, I have left my proper position of submission to God. I have decided that I must have what I have set my heart on and nothing can stand in the way. I am no longer comforted by God's desire for me; I am threatened by it, because God's will potentially stands in the way of my demand. ... There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations."
When I first read that diagnosis (in his book "Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands"), I was stunned. One sentence in particular screamed from the page: "There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations." These are self-induced dings to our hearts! Even more seriously, these acts are seeds we are sowing to future conflict in our own marriages. No husband will meet all of our desires, so we should learn to protect our own hearts and minds in Christ Jesus by not indulging this cycle of idolatry.
((BLOGGER'S INSERT--THIS IS SOOO GOOD!!)) So how do we change? Here's something I've been meditating on over the past year. The secret is in the worth of a woman with noble character. The Bible says she is "more precious than jewels." Jewels aren't out on the store's front counter for every passerby to carelessly handle. Precious jewels are guarded in the vault, and are only brought out for consideration by a buyer who has demonstrated serious intentions and the wherewithal to purchase. Costume jewelry attracts casual inspection - and lots of it - by its cheap presentation. But because it's not seen as valuable, it's not treated as such.
We don't have to put our affections and ourselves on display. We can trust our heavenly Father to ward off the casual shoppers and only bring those with serious intentions to consider us. But you need to know that this will mean some "vault time." While you're in the dark, wondering when - and if - you will have a chance to sparkle for an appreciative buyer, you'll be tested. During this time, keep in mind these three reminders:
* Prayer: Take your petitions to God, for He's the only one who can change a man's heart, and this brings His peace to guard our own hearts.
* Pursuit: It's not our job as women. Instead, we should have the joy of being pursued.
* Prevent Disappointment: Check yourself before you head down the slippery slope of desires, demands and expectations that Paul Tripp outlined. When you find your fist closing over good desires and making them demands, stop. Open that clenched fist and hold that desire up in prayer (see point one again).
We have to be very careful about guarding our own hearts. This is a wisdom issue. More importantly, it's a worship issue. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is not to be able to hand our husbands a relatively unscathed heart on our wedding day, as important as that is. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is to preserve our trusting dependence on God with a peaceful spirit, whether we get married or not. It's to keep a Scriptural imperative: "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
Sooooo, friends, what have I learned?
1. My desire and dream of marriage and family is God-given, and not a bad thing. However, when I left it morph from a desire to a demand and closed my fist around it, God became a threat, because He may not provide my desire. If I choose to submit my desire and my dream to him, with an open hand, He has the ability to potentially place that dream in my hand. He could never do that with a clenched fist!
2. I am a jewel...I'm thinking maybe a really pretty Blue Topaz...it's Carolina blue, you know? But I'm in some serious "Vault Time" right now, locked up and protected until and if God chooses to allow someone to open the vault. But, I now trust Him more than I trust myself to make those decisions...boy, my track record...eeeesh! So, while I'm in the vault, ya'll pray for me and with me...it's kinda dark in here and rather lonely at times. But, I know that I know that I know that HE IS in here with me!! After all, His name is "I AM"!! (Tim Patrick would get a snort and a chuckle out of that one!)
I love ya'll, and remember, this is a journey I'm on, and it will continue for a while. Healing ain't easy, and it isn't always fun, and it hurts quite often, but, ultimately, it will be glorious.
Journeying in the Vault,
Kara
For those of you who aren't single, trust me, you can learn from what I'm about to post as well. I read this article a few days ago, and a portion of it just hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so applicable to life in general, and I just had to share it with you.
But first, an update on me. I'm still at The Arc....wooo hoooo, starting my third week! They still want me, so I'll go for week #4! I'm also still seeing Teresa, and for those of you who've been praying for me on Mondays at 4, take today off! She's out of town! The Tar Heels AND the Panthers are on a winning streak, so football season's off to a great start!!
Today, I am feeling completely grateful to God. My guess is that it's only in retrospect that we can truly look back, understand what He was doing, and rejoice in His provision and his providence, mercy and grace. I can promise you---when He grabs hold of you, leads you out of the pit you may not have realized you were in, and brings you to a higher place, all you can do is fall at His feet and praise Him!! I am blessed to be able to see how He has done this for me in a certain area, and thanks to confirmation and encouragement from a variety of friends, I KNOW that it was His best and His plan for me! Something that I thought would be so painful and difficult has, in fact, turned into a beautiful mosaic designed by my Creator to protect me, comfort me, and take me out of a situation that could have led to heartache instead of a heart pinch. I'll bet most of you have experienced those times, but for me, this is the first time I've ever really been cognizant of His power to intervene in a beautiful way in my life, and I'm SO BLESSED AND GRATEFUL!!! Praise You, Father!!!
Now to what I was reading: It's from (oh gosh, I can't believe I'm admitting this) a book called Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Ok, before ANYone says ANYthing, I didn't read the book, but found this article with a great quote FROM the book...really, I mean it, and if you don't trust me on that, you have trust issues, and you need to get in Life Skills quick!! Hehehe Chad, I got another reference in there!!
Please read this and think of the way it applies in your own life....it doesn't have to do with only singleness!!
Here we go:
"Paul Tripp, author and biblical counselor, explains the pitfalls of this continuum in this way - desire leads to demand, which re-labels itself as a "need" and leads to expectation of fulfillment, which, when unmet, leads to disappointment, and thus ends in punishment. As he writes, "The objects of most of our desires are not evil. The problem is the way they tend to grow, and the control they come to exercise over our hearts. Desires are a part of human existence, but they must be held with an open hand. ... The problem with desire is that in sinners it very quickly morphs into demand ('I must'). Demand is the closing of my fists over a desire. Even though I may be unaware that I have done it, I have left my proper position of submission to God. I have decided that I must have what I have set my heart on and nothing can stand in the way. I am no longer comforted by God's desire for me; I am threatened by it, because God's will potentially stands in the way of my demand. ... There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations."
When I first read that diagnosis (in his book "Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands"), I was stunned. One sentence in particular screamed from the page: "There is a direct relationship between expectation and disappointment, and much of our disappointment in relationships is not because people have actually wronged us, but because they have failed to meet our expectations." These are self-induced dings to our hearts! Even more seriously, these acts are seeds we are sowing to future conflict in our own marriages. No husband will meet all of our desires, so we should learn to protect our own hearts and minds in Christ Jesus by not indulging this cycle of idolatry.
((BLOGGER'S INSERT--THIS IS SOOO GOOD!!)) So how do we change? Here's something I've been meditating on over the past year. The secret is in the worth of a woman with noble character. The Bible says she is "more precious than jewels." Jewels aren't out on the store's front counter for every passerby to carelessly handle. Precious jewels are guarded in the vault, and are only brought out for consideration by a buyer who has demonstrated serious intentions and the wherewithal to purchase. Costume jewelry attracts casual inspection - and lots of it - by its cheap presentation. But because it's not seen as valuable, it's not treated as such.
We don't have to put our affections and ourselves on display. We can trust our heavenly Father to ward off the casual shoppers and only bring those with serious intentions to consider us. But you need to know that this will mean some "vault time." While you're in the dark, wondering when - and if - you will have a chance to sparkle for an appreciative buyer, you'll be tested. During this time, keep in mind these three reminders:
* Prayer: Take your petitions to God, for He's the only one who can change a man's heart, and this brings His peace to guard our own hearts.
* Pursuit: It's not our job as women. Instead, we should have the joy of being pursued.
* Prevent Disappointment: Check yourself before you head down the slippery slope of desires, demands and expectations that Paul Tripp outlined. When you find your fist closing over good desires and making them demands, stop. Open that clenched fist and hold that desire up in prayer (see point one again).
We have to be very careful about guarding our own hearts. This is a wisdom issue. More importantly, it's a worship issue. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is not to be able to hand our husbands a relatively unscathed heart on our wedding day, as important as that is. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is to preserve our trusting dependence on God with a peaceful spirit, whether we get married or not. It's to keep a Scriptural imperative: "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
Sooooo, friends, what have I learned?
1. My desire and dream of marriage and family is God-given, and not a bad thing. However, when I left it morph from a desire to a demand and closed my fist around it, God became a threat, because He may not provide my desire. If I choose to submit my desire and my dream to him, with an open hand, He has the ability to potentially place that dream in my hand. He could never do that with a clenched fist!
2. I am a jewel...I'm thinking maybe a really pretty Blue Topaz...it's Carolina blue, you know? But I'm in some serious "Vault Time" right now, locked up and protected until and if God chooses to allow someone to open the vault. But, I now trust Him more than I trust myself to make those decisions...boy, my track record...eeeesh! So, while I'm in the vault, ya'll pray for me and with me...it's kinda dark in here and rather lonely at times. But, I know that I know that I know that HE IS in here with me!! After all, His name is "I AM"!! (Tim Patrick would get a snort and a chuckle out of that one!)
I love ya'll, and remember, this is a journey I'm on, and it will continue for a while. Healing ain't easy, and it isn't always fun, and it hurts quite often, but, ultimately, it will be glorious.
Journeying in the Vault,
Kara
Friday, September 5, 2008
Who Says You Can't Go Home?? A Little Bon Jovi Today!
Hellooooo.....is there an echo in here??
It just might be because it's been a while since I've posted! I feel like I have a lot to update you guys on, but let's start with a little apology!
First, I'm sorry that I haven't been updating the past few weeks. As you all know, I've left my position at Crossroads, and I took an ENTIRE two weeks off! Ahhhhh, it was WONderful!! I rested. I watched tv. I slept. I did nothing. I wrote a lot of poetry. I journaled. I did an awful lot of nothing. I cooked! I baked a cake...it was yummo! I read an awful lot. Suffice to say, I had a blast! It was so incredibly rejuvenating just to be able to de-stress!
Oh! I also went to church for the first time in about 3 and 1/2 years as a normal (well, as normal as you can be for me) person...no responsibilities! I really was able to enjoy the entire worship experience. I heard the entire message and didn't have to leave early to get ready for a new service. It was GREAT!! You just don't realize how much you miss those little things when you're so crazed on Sunday mornings, running around doing a million things for everybody! (Now, please hear me...that is NOT a complaint! I loved my job, and I loved the people I worked with and I LOVED the kids! I'm simply readjusting my outlook on life and on Sunday mornings, and I had a great time!)
I'll also admit to backsliding two of the last three Sunday mornings. I had church at home with my own worship time, which was very sweet. I watched two pastors on tv that I've really grown to love...check out Ed Young, he's great! Very up to the minute...he did a series on "Big Sex" that was just terrific...go check out the messages on his website if you'd like! You'll be glad you did.
This past Tuesday, I started my new old job at The Arc. Sounds funny, doesn't it? Who says you can't go home? Not me! I am honored to be back with these women and one guy (love ya, Brian!), because I know they care about me and have my best interest at heart, and I also appreciate the mission of The Arc. It's right up my alley, and I'll be doing things I love, so get ready to hear a lot about what's going on here!
A BIG THANK YOU to Lori E. for my special present she gave me at church a few weeks ago. That cross meant more to me than you'll know, Lori. It was the incentive I needed to continue the blog, actually, because I've been re-thinking the value of actually doing it and what its purpose is! Thanks for reading and letting me know that you care!!
Well, guys, I no longer have Mondays off, but I do only have to work 1/2 days on Friday, so it's time to zip out of here! I'll catch up more later....don't abandon me!! Remember, I'm on a journey to healing, and when the panic and anxiety start to flare, I remember you guys, and I hang on to your words of encouragement, so stick in there with me!!
Love you all,
Kara
It just might be because it's been a while since I've posted! I feel like I have a lot to update you guys on, but let's start with a little apology!
First, I'm sorry that I haven't been updating the past few weeks. As you all know, I've left my position at Crossroads, and I took an ENTIRE two weeks off! Ahhhhh, it was WONderful!! I rested. I watched tv. I slept. I did nothing. I wrote a lot of poetry. I journaled. I did an awful lot of nothing. I cooked! I baked a cake...it was yummo! I read an awful lot. Suffice to say, I had a blast! It was so incredibly rejuvenating just to be able to de-stress!
Oh! I also went to church for the first time in about 3 and 1/2 years as a normal (well, as normal as you can be for me) person...no responsibilities! I really was able to enjoy the entire worship experience. I heard the entire message and didn't have to leave early to get ready for a new service. It was GREAT!! You just don't realize how much you miss those little things when you're so crazed on Sunday mornings, running around doing a million things for everybody! (Now, please hear me...that is NOT a complaint! I loved my job, and I loved the people I worked with and I LOVED the kids! I'm simply readjusting my outlook on life and on Sunday mornings, and I had a great time!)
I'll also admit to backsliding two of the last three Sunday mornings. I had church at home with my own worship time, which was very sweet. I watched two pastors on tv that I've really grown to love...check out Ed Young, he's great! Very up to the minute...he did a series on "Big Sex" that was just terrific...go check out the messages on his website if you'd like! You'll be glad you did.
This past Tuesday, I started my new old job at The Arc. Sounds funny, doesn't it? Who says you can't go home? Not me! I am honored to be back with these women and one guy (love ya, Brian!), because I know they care about me and have my best interest at heart, and I also appreciate the mission of The Arc. It's right up my alley, and I'll be doing things I love, so get ready to hear a lot about what's going on here!
A BIG THANK YOU to Lori E. for my special present she gave me at church a few weeks ago. That cross meant more to me than you'll know, Lori. It was the incentive I needed to continue the blog, actually, because I've been re-thinking the value of actually doing it and what its purpose is! Thanks for reading and letting me know that you care!!
Well, guys, I no longer have Mondays off, but I do only have to work 1/2 days on Friday, so it's time to zip out of here! I'll catch up more later....don't abandon me!! Remember, I'm on a journey to healing, and when the panic and anxiety start to flare, I remember you guys, and I hang on to your words of encouragement, so stick in there with me!!
Love you all,
Kara
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